Author Archives: Dreamaticus

Hunting for tattoos and finding flab (Rousse)

Posted on October 13, 2015 by Dreamaticus

XY pulled down the waistband of my denim shorts from behind. He claimed that he was checking my (non-existent) tattoo. Whatever he was doing, I was not happy that this act drew attention to my flab. LM was appalled. She … Continue reading →

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The writing of Horace and Brighton bullies (Rousse)

Posted on October 11, 2015 by Dreamaticus

This first gathering of the UK information science community in years took place on a hill top in Brighton. There I was really pleased to meet HJ Horace, the American writer. I told him that I wanted to buy his … Continue reading →

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A baby faux pas and strange soft words (Rousse)

Posted on October 10, 2015 by Dreamaticus

I made the most appalling faux pas by congratulating HC-H’s ex-wife on the arrival of her new baby daughter the day after the new wife had given birth. She would not accept an apology. Instead she lay into me with … Continue reading →

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Welcoming pupils at Teesside High School (Rousse)

Posted on October 9, 2015 by Dreamaticus

I needed a copy of the Good university guide. The best place to find this was the sixth form common room at Teesside High School. The girls were a bit surprised at my request, but still let me in.

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Addicted to diet Coke (Rousse)

Posted on October 9, 2015 by Dreamaticus

BB was so fond of his fridge that he carried it everywhere he went on campus – even though all it contained was a single can of diet Coke.

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Lucinda Legerwood awarded PhD (Rousse)

Posted on October 9, 2015 by Dreamaticus

BB hosted the viva in his office, HR chaired it, and the candidate – Lucinda Legerwood of BBC Apprentice fame – engaged in conversation with the female external examiner in Wolverhampton by Skype. I was on the beach when I … Continue reading →

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A dismal pyjama performance (Rousse)

Posted on October 8, 2015 by Dreamaticus

On the day that the Assistant Principal came to observe my teaching everything went wrong. Over 30 students turned up to the class for the first time – and this was week 5 The overheard projector played YouTube videos over … Continue reading →

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White rabbit moves in with deer (Rousse)

Posted on October 7, 2015 by Dreamaticus

I lay in the bath pondering the state of my surroundings. TPR had done his best to make minor repairs to the bathroom but they could hardly be called professional: the toilet roll holder was crammed into a corner where … Continue reading →

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Fake cop chases the gangs of Hexham (Rousse)

Posted on October 7, 2015 by Dreamaticus

I missed the party. This was just as well because I, amongst others, knew that there really was nothing to celebrate. The hostess was well aware of this too. She communicated her dismay at her failed marriage in her choice … Continue reading →

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Inspired by Bill Hicks (Rousse)

Posted on October 5, 2015 by Dreamaticus

Part of the comedy challenge for the four performers was to include mention of audience members in their sets. Suddenly I was very popular. It wasn’t my contributions to I’m sorry I haven’t a clue that attracted the attention of … Continue reading →

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