Tag Archives: cousin

Stephen Fry’s bathroom (Rousse)

Stephen Fry’s old bathroom was a place of pilgrimage. I borrowed a bright yellow-striped swimsuit from my cousin DT and plunged into the water. As I relaxed into the bath I noticed the messages that Hugh Laurie had scratched into … Continue reading

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From turtles to a wish to weigh under ten stone (Rousse)

I left my school friend KC in charge of the mixed selection of beautiful green-striped turtles that were climbing up our side of the bath. This allowed me to drive south to collect my mother from my cousins’ house in … Continue reading

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Prince George’s part-time passion and a romantic near-miss (Rousse)

Prince George of Cambridge had 5 minutes before his next royal appointment to open a new hospital ward. He chose to spend it stroking my upper torso. Afterwards I almost climbed into bed with my cousin NA. Fortunately I saw … Continue reading

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Terrifying taxi transport costs (Rousse)

My cousins T and SB complained of their lack of sleep. They had been forced to leave the ball ‘early’ at 03:30am and only managed a couple of hours in bed before they were obliged to cross town to collect … Continue reading

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Bride dazzles congregation with a diamond-encrusted wedding dress, Diana Ross, and circus clowns (Rousse)

My cousin F’s bride struggled to reach the alter under the weight of her dazzling diamond-encrusted wedding gown. While they waited for C to reach her destination, the congregation puzzled over her choice of music for walking down the aisle: … Continue reading

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Cousin colouring comparison check (Rousse)

GT  stuck his ginger head through the kitchen window of the log cabin in rural Canada. ‘Who the hell are you, and what are you doing here?!’ he demanded to know. He had no idea that the ‘English squatters’ now … Continue reading

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Topless on the A1 (Rousse)

My cousins S and N pleaded with me to dance with them so I agreed – but first I needed to put on some clothes. I returned to the camper van (my home for the past few months) and pulled … Continue reading

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