Tag Archives: royal

An orthopaedic surgeon’s cocaine sideline (Rousse)

Posted on August 4, 2026 by Dreamaticus

I checked in at reception at OPD6 at the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary for my appointment with Mr T. The orthopaedic surgeon was much younger than I expected, and his preferred form of treatment for broken limbs most unconventional. He recruited … Continue reading →

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News of a Chelsea pensioner (Rousse)

Posted on July 28, 2024 by Dreamaticus

A scruffy man in a ragged soldier’s uniform turned up at our door. At first I thought that he was wearing a Salvation Army outfit. Then I recognised the insignia of the Chelsea pensioners on his shoulder. He was dressed … Continue reading →

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A right royal flush (Rousse)

Posted on March 11, 2024 by Dreamaticus

Along a lonely corridor, I stumbled into Queen Elizabeth II. Her white gloved hand was on the handle of a small door. When I started to engage in conversation with her majesty, she interrupted me quickly to say that she … Continue reading →

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Queen Elizabeth II’s candlestick (Rousse)

Posted on February 18, 2024 by Dreamaticus

RJH and TPR stole a white-painted wood candlestick stamped ERII from one of the royal family’s residences. I was very ashamed of the pair of them.

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Dressing secrets of the French royal family (Rousse)

Posted on April 18, 2023 by Dreamaticus

The curator passed me the tiny fitted eighteenth century jacket. The solid gold buttons, along with the hand-stitched trimmings in precious threads, stood out against the beautiful dark blue velvet. ‘Check the silver embroidery on the seam of the sleeve’, … Continue reading →

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Two dead queens and a kitchen conga (Rousse)

Posted on January 24, 2023 by Dreamaticus

T arrived at our door in a terrible state. His marriage was on the rocks. and he had no idea how to win back L. I accompanied T back to his house by foot. We passed some of the royal … Continue reading →

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Royal family lookalike con (Rousse)

Posted on March 4, 2021 by Dreamaticus

The excitement was raw: every single one of us would have 30 minutes or so to chat with a royal couple! My friend found out first that hers was the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Mine was Diana, Princess of … Continue reading →

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Prince George’s part-time passion and a romantic near-miss (Rousse)

Posted on October 28, 2018 by Dreamaticus

Prince George of Cambridge had 5 minutes before his next royal appointment to open a new hospital ward. He chose to spend it stroking my upper torso. Afterwards I almost climbed into bed with my cousin NA. Fortunately I saw … Continue reading →

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Martha Kearney and the no knickers interview for Women’s Hour (Rousse)

Posted on May 31, 2018 by Dreamaticus

At the end of the interview Martha Kearney asked me to wait while she fetched something to cover me up. She returned with a beautiful royal blue cashmere coat. ‘We can’t have you sitting around the studio half-naked’ she explained. … Continue reading →

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To Hexham for celebrities, and to Perth for the pantomime (Rousse)

Posted on March 22, 2018 by Dreamaticus

A crowd of posh pensioners carrying cameras obstructed my way as I attempted to drive my little buggy (illegally) along the pavement of Temperley Place, Hexham. They had their long lenses fixed on a doorway, in eager anticipation of snapping … Continue reading →

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