Tag Archives: body

Tattooed body litter lookalike (Rousse)

A teenager on a bobsleigh whizzed past the house and accidentally scooped up TPR. The unintended hitch-hiker was eventually deposited in the sea. As TPR emerged bare chested from the waves I noticed that he had acquired yet another tattoo. … Continue reading

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Murdered peat bog bodies (Rousse)

When I left the two bodies to rot in the peat bog, I thought that I had committed the perfect murder. However, I accidentally left behind traces of my involvement in the dastardly deed. These included two knives, and a … Continue reading

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A blond boy with no body (Rousse)

From photographs I always knew that N was a special little boy. It was only when I met him in person, however, that I understood the reason why. N was nothing but a head topped with blond hair. At night … Continue reading

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An Australian body search for Earl Grey tea (Rousse)

‘I don’t even smoke! What would be the point?’ I screamed at the man who accused me of stealing a pack of cigarettes. He was actually referring to the two Earl Grey teabags on the reception desk. Had I taken … Continue reading

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Bacon roll threesome plot a murder (Rousse)

QDX, CSX, GSX and I were so pally that we had taken to meeting for a bacon roll in Crombies each morning, then returning to bed together for a cosy lie-in. We also plotted a murder. Careful to protect ourselves, … Continue reading

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Over body-confidence, laundry robbers, the Northumbrian pipes, and a man in white bow ties (Rousse)

Early one morning, before the shops opened, my sister S, my mother and I ran along the Ullapool esplanade. At the far end we stepped on the scales. My sister weighed in at 11 stone five, over two stone heavier … Continue reading

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Anti-terrorism procedures at the Shard (Rousse)

The restaurant at the top of the Shard was the venue for the wee reunion of some of my best friends from University: SPC (looking great and talking about her recent encounter with David Lodge), HW, JG and RA. CP … Continue reading

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