Author Archives: Dreamaticus

Rail passengers told go ‘Sod off’ (Rousse)

We needed to get from Hexham to Newcastle by train to spend the night with LM. When I tried to check the train times on the station’s app it responded with an error message: ‘Trains after 4pm from Hexham to … Continue reading

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A bee swarm (Rousse)

‘Don’t touch it!’ I begged my mother. The bees responded to the poke and swarmed. I was covered in insects from head to toe.

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The secret bigamist (Rousse)

Until I considered what might happen if I died before TPR, I thought it perfectly acceptable to have secretly married my 35 year old ‘boyfriend’. In practice we hardly ever saw each another, and I wondered if he actually remembered … Continue reading

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Plumbing catastrophe (Rousse)

The poshest restaurant in town did not supply enough waste paper baskets – so everyone threw their rubbish down the lavatories, thus causing a plumbling catastrophe.

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Conference cutlery freebies fight (Rousse)

FR and I fought for conference cutlery freebies.

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A cartoon lover and a career in swimwear (Belle)

My new boyfriend was an almost humanised version of Stan Smith from American Dad.  At his workplace I was presented with a gift and went onto the stage to make an impromptu speech. I said thank you and then said … Continue reading

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Hebridean hedgehog swimmers and dolphins (Rousse)

I watched the hedgehogs swim to the shore to settle on the Hebridean island, and patted a dolphin and her calf from my seat on the headland.

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