Author Archives: Dreamaticus

New blue and yellow wallpaper brightens office (Rousse)

PC took advantage of his time off work on sick leave to redecorate his office. He hung a bold wallpaper of blue and yellow blobs on all four walls to create a ‘homely’ feel. I was so impressed that I … Continue reading

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How to keep a loving relationship alive (Rousse)

Everyone was raving about a new BBC lifestyle documentary about keeping a loving relationship alive – starring my cousin SA and his wife LA! The quality of the production was superb, and it was no surprise that this show was … Continue reading

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Jewellery thieves of Pitlochry (Rousse)

SC warned me about the jewellery thieves of Pitlochry. They came from out of town, armed with nothing but a strong grip. Their modus operandi was to force a victim against a wall, reach for their hands, tug off all … Continue reading

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David Beckham in disguise (Rousse)

I spent the day cycling with David Beckham, his wife Victoria, and their young son. At no point were we recognised, even at a busy London railway station. This was thanks to the clever way that David wore wraparound sunglasses, … Continue reading

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Teenage criminals target Sainsbury shopping trolleys in Gateshead (Rousse)

Poor Darren had his work cut out on the Customer Services counter at the Gateshead Sainsbury megastore. His queue grew longer and longer as I explained the whole sorry tale of  my purchases. I had selected a mix of groceries … Continue reading

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A false alibi (Rousse)

I reluctantly agreed to provide an alibi for KW and told the police that he was at the Tuesday lunchtime meeting. As evidence, I showed them the entry in my calendar. Of course, in reality, at that time KW was … Continue reading

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Alien pink babies emerge from the plumbing (Rousse)

I was returning the keys of the Lomax so that someone else could take it for a drive when a woman at the sink shrieked. ‘It’s Elaine’s head – as a baby!” she shouted ‘And several more of them coming … Continue reading

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Social embarrassment of hotel lift claustrophobia with a 3-foot man (Rousse)

While BD entertained his colleagues at the conference by prancing around in a pair of pink gift-tie ‘ear-rings’, I sought the stairs to return to my hotel room to pack. The only set of stairs that I could find comprised … Continue reading

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Canine and human vandals ruin corridor wall (Rousse)

I was very angry to find dog’s paw prints along the skirting board and up the edge of the wallpaper in the corridor. I was angrier still when I saw that someone had vandalised the same wall with details in … Continue reading

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Husband presents wife with a Porsche – and a divorce (Rousse)

TPR bought me a midnight blue Porsche, then instructed me to drive him from the south west of England to Lowestoft. He announced that this would be our final trip before he divorced me. It was an emotionally painful journey. … Continue reading

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