Dreamaticus populae
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Recent reveries
- Adopting a dog – or two (Rousse)
- A mountain ban (Rousse)
- Elbow announce novel support act (Rousse)
- An unwanted mushroom sofa (Rousse)
- Music hall mice (Belle)
- David Jason – arms dealer (Rousse)
- A successful bedroom declutter (Rousse)
- University investment priorities: teaching and learning, or research? (Rousse)
- Keeping clutter in container 78 (Rousse)
- Christian evangelists invade Florida (Rousse)
- Fast yoga teacher performs the plank naked (Rousse)
- Kitchen cupboard killer (Rousse)
- Swimming and a badger hair shaving brush (Rousse)
- Magpie and Mouse (Belle)
- A regenerating man in Highland holiday accommodation (Rousse)
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Monthly Archives: January 2021
Lazy Lady Gaga (Rousse)
I gatecrashed a gathering of famous female pop stars and actors in the Durness community hall. I persuaded them that I was their fitness instructor and insisted that nobody was exempt from my exercise class. None of them really wanted … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged actor, actress, cheese, class, community hall, dinner, Durness, excercise, fitness, instructor, Lady Gaga, lazy, pop star
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Free trial liposuction, force-fed kipper, and ferocious wolves (Rousse)
I was disgusted at the rope of white marshmallow-like goo extracted from my midriff by the white-uniformed beautician. My first experience of liposuction was definitely going to be my last. I asked the beautician to stop my free trail, gathered … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged beautician, force-feed, friend, hairdresser, kipper, liposuction, mother, mute, primary, school, wolves
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Kneeling toilet is a safe haven for jewellery stash (Rousse)
No wonder I kept getting lost in the hotel. Due to a booking mishap, every day TPR and I were moved from one bedroom to another. Although annoying, it would have been so much worse if the weather had been … Continue reading
Turning down Loughborough (Rousse)
I performed well in my interview for a chair at Loughborough University, and it came as no surprise when Eric (the Head of School) offered me the job. I was delighted with this outcome, as was AM, who had always … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged airport, bus, campus, chair, colleagues, Eric, job, Loughborough, man, Midlands, naked, offer, uniform
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Disguised David and Victoria Beckham murder distraction (Rousse)
While sharped-eyed tourists spotted semi-disguised David and Victoria Beckham strolling down Edinburgh’s Royal Mile, my murderous rampage around the city was still secret – but not for much longer… I thought that it would be safe to store the latest … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged beetle, car, cell, corpse, David Beckham, disguise, distraction, Edinburgh, murder, murderer, prison, Royal Mile, scrap, tourist, Victoria Beckham, Victoria Street, Volkswagen
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Boris Johnson wedding (Rousse)
As aunt to one of Boris Johnson’s children, I was invited to the big family wedding.
UK parakeet problem hits Edinburgh (Rousse)
I pulled back the shutters and looked out of the window of the first floor. Imagine my surprise when I saw a someone come flying through the sky on the back of a man-sized robin! Also, on the branches of … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged garden, makeover, parakeet, problem, robin, shutter, window
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Fine art graduates offered new opportunity to market their work (Rousse)
I came up with my new business idea when standing next to a large black Edinburgh street refuse bin. Inside I could see several cellophane-wrapped mounted pictures. They were left over from the recent degree show at the art college. … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged art, bin, boyfriend, business, children, deceit, Dumfries, graduate, market, sell refuse, Stuart, wife, work
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Apple purée spillage (Rousse)
I accidentally spilt a vat of apple purée over the entire floor of the staff common room of Sheffield University’s iSchool – but nobody seemed to care.
Dreamaticus 