Monthly Archives: May 2021

Tadpole hunting with a fishing rod (Rousse)

GK sheepishly walked back into my life when his marriage came to an abrupt end. I knew this immediately, the evidence writ large across the tan line on his wedding ring finger. It seemed that GK regarded my parents’ house … Continue reading

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A missed opportunity to bed Chris Addison (Rousse)

I deeply regretted missing the chance to sleep with my co-star Chris Addison, but this partly my own doing. I should have refused to meet CS in a Glasgow hotel to spend an afternoon downing gin and rum cocktails as … Continue reading

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A return to University after lockdown (Rousse)

I was so excited to be returning to university after the pandemic lockdown, and very much looking forward to seeing my 4th year friends. Of course, we all ‘saw’ GK on a regular basis now that he was famous. Usually … Continue reading

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Invitation to murder (Rousse)

My family was running the risk of reputational ruin. Already we were known for being loud and eccentric. Now it seems that we had invited someone for dinner and – for entertainment at the end of the evening – murdered … Continue reading

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Fiona Bruce held up by rabbi (Rousse)

‘Sorry I’m late’, said Fiona Bruce. ‘I couldn’t get away from the rabbi’. ‘Oh’, I responded. ‘I had no idea that you were Jewish’.

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Front half Volvo dumping (Rousse)

We shouldn’t have invited our posh friends round for drinks in our yard when pandemic restrictions were still in force. Ignoring all the rules, they decided to stay overnight inside our flat afterwards. In the morning I found a bunch … Continue reading

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Mobility scooter road hog emigrates to Canada (Rousse)

TPR finally confessed that he had been unfaithful to me for years, having slept with numerous women from the very start of his career. I was not entirely surprised, but it was a real shock that he was leaving me … Continue reading

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A free tube ticket (Rousse)

I travelled to London Heathrow by plane with no ID, no money, and no phone. I did not go through arrivals after I disembarked the plane. Instead I crossed the tarmac to the Thames and followed the cobbled path along … Continue reading

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Escape from the giant drag queen monster (Rousse)

TPR scooped me up into his arms to carry me and run for our lives. Eventually there was sufficient distance between us and the monster: an eight foot, heavily made up, bald, drag queen with red flashing eyes primed to … Continue reading

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