Monthly Archives: December 2020

A useless passport (Rousse)

I opened the cover of my passport to find that all the significant pages had been ripped out. I wouldn’t be going anywhere soon – not even to Europe.

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From swimming with killer whales to selling Christmas tat on eBay (Rousse)

My sister S was very busy. First she changed into her red bathing costume and jumped into the sea for a swim. I was grateful that the school of killer whales did not pay her any attention. Next she was … Continue reading

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Kiell Smith-Bynoe is the star of Ghosts (Rousse)

When I turned round I found Kiell Smith-Bynoe standing behind me. ‘Oh, hello’, I said, “I recognise you as an actor from Ghosts‘. ‘Not quite’, he corrected me, ‘I think that you mean the star of Ghosts.’

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Suicidal coach survival (Rousse)

TPR and I were disappointed that two other passengers had bagged the best seats next to the coach driver. Sulkily, we sat down in the second row behind them. Twenty minutes later the driver veered off the road, rumbled the … Continue reading

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Prime Minister Boris Johnson lies about fish (Rousse)

Boris Johnston stuck his hand into the drawer of random cutlery and pulled out a flat four inch fish-shaped piece of steel. ‘Excellent, a Tudor fish knife!’ he declared. He was, of course, wrong. The metal might  have been fashioned … Continue reading

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A Hebridean Princess (Rousse)

A famous dramatist was staying at the guest house on the Isle of Lewis and – it was rumoured – he was about to cast the lead role for his latest play: a princess with long golden hair. Around my … Continue reading

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iPhone switch scam (Rousse)

Someone had switched my iPhone 11 for a 4. It worked fine, with all my contacts and stored messages and photographs still intact – but it wasn’t my phone. Later TPR managed to work out the identity of the culprit … Continue reading

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What not to present in a job application (Rousse)

SL showed me her notes for the job application form. ‘What’s the best way of present this information?’ she asked, showing me a sheet of paper headed ‘Dates’ with long list of men’s names underneath. I advised SL that her … Continue reading

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Holy Island pre-death giveaway (Rousse)

Several of my former colleagues flocked to the Holy Island of Lindisfarne to attend AT’s pre-death giveaway. The ceremony was rather like the reading of a will, except that AT was still alive and you took away your booty on … Continue reading

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A fold-up four-seater bicycle (Rousse)

EH offered me a lift home from work: on her fold-up four-seater bicycle.

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