Monthly Archives: January 2011

Rousse battles unconvention at a funeral, naked on the train, and with her man

It was a tragedy. Cousin R caught a cold on the golf course and promptly dropped dead. Now everyone was gathered for his less than conventional funeral. This included not only a scruffy, elderly bride in a dirty mauve dress … Continue reading

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All men wear bras (Belle)

I made another one of my public proclamations to an unspecified audience. “The one thing that all the men in this country have in common is that they want to own – and WEAR – a bra.” In order to … Continue reading

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Legacy of Lord of the Rings: will Gollum make adulthood unscathed? (Rousse)

CS and I wandered the campus at night, arm in arm, devising plots to make a fortune from the delivery of social media master classes. We were not alone: JK was also hard at work in his office, and we … Continue reading

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Belle is a defective detective

Twenty years after the affair ended, I was once again dating T. The truth of the matter was I was operating undercover. T’s extended family were trailer-park villains. One-by-one they were being killed off. I watched them closely over several … Continue reading

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Brutal BBC boxing match and a black-eyed avatar (Rousse)

The finalists of BBC Scotland’s Sports Personality of the Year limbered up for the last round in Edinburgh, jogging up and down Cathedral Lane between the Paolozzi sculptures and the St James Centre. While EMc and I watched the preparation … Continue reading

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Archbishop of Canterbury reigns over Wembley and David Cameron settles into Edinburgh pied-à-terre (Rousse)

I was summoned to 10 Downing Street, but I didn’t know why. The house was as packed as a pub on a Friday night and I had to force myself through a throng of MPs, including George Osbourne, to reach … Continue reading

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Belle is a blank canvas

I was the victim of mistaken identity in Dusseldorf. Or was it a set-up? I had been taken to a town centre apartment by a woman I hadn’t seen for over 30 years so I could change my clothes. While … Continue reading

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UK’s cheapest print cartridges found in… North Berwick? (Rousse)

With his mop of blond hair and angelic five year-old face he made an unlikely criminal, but when I confronted this gun-toting infant terrorist in the wood I was terrified. Although my revolver rested safely in my handbag, it would … Continue reading

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Drugs raids ruin City living (Belle)

The Barbican became the centre of a series of ill-judged Metropolitan Police drug raids. Then the service at the Chinese fast-food restaurant started to go downhill. Once again, they gave me the wrong paperback with my order, and my friend … Continue reading

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Diamonds are forever (Rousse)

How could this be possible: a variation on the game of Scrabble, dumbed down for adults? The man who invited me to play poured the tiles on to the table. They were the size of large dominoes. Rather than displaying … Continue reading

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