Winning the train quiz (Rousse)

Posted on December 25, 2025 by Dreamaticus

TPR issued us all with a National Museums of Scotland worksheet.

When I saw the set of questions on early passenger trains from the 1820s, I was convinced that I would win this quiz.

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Donkey-dog terrorises peaceful Northumbrian village (Rousse)

Posted on December 25, 2025 by Dreamaticus

I walked the length of the main street of the pretty Northumbrian village. Where the stone cottages gave way to fields full of livestock, an animal leapt over the wooden fence and bounded towards me.

I struggled to identify the creature. The size of a donkey, it had the playfulness of a dog. I stroked and petted it, then we played fetch for a while. When I turned to retrace my steps and find my friends in the village café, I hoped that the donkey-dog would return to his field.

However, on realising that I was leaving him, the donkey-dog transformed into the Big Bad Wolf. I ran away as fast as I could, seeking refuge in the café. The donkey-dog pushed past the tables, chairs, and counter all the way to the toilet cubicle where I attempted to hide. It stood on its hind legs, popped its huge clawed paws over the top of the door, and glowered at me.

Where was the café proprietor? What about my friends? Why did nobody answer my screams for help?

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Circus tricks for dogs (Rousse)

Posted on December 24, 2025 by Dreamaticus

In the time that I travelled up one floor in the hotel lift, I taught three stray dogs a range of impressive circus tricks.

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Car lock-out at the agricultural show (Rousse)

Posted on December 24, 2025 by Dreamaticus

Dressed only in my light white cotton nightie, I was locked out of my mother’s car at an agricultural show.

I looked like a sad ghost wandering past the pens of livestock and craft stalls in the vast field, hunting for the car keys.

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David Tennant is rude (Rousse)

Posted on December 22, 2025 by Dreamaticus

David Tennant continued chattering even after I asked everyone, including him, to pay attention to my funny story.

That morning I had woken up, dressed, and made my way to work – all without checking the time. Campus wasn’t open at 6:15am so I to make my way home again across the boggy moorland, all by myself.

You might have thought that the famous actor would have been fascinated by my anecdote, or at least have the manners to feign interest.

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Accommodation angst with an archeologist (Rousse)

Posted on December 17, 2025 by Dreamaticus

Life would be a lot easier if I lodged with archeologist RJ at least one night a week in her shared flat in Newington. So we made an arrangement for me to start a trial run on Wednesday.

I bought my provisions – as far as I could – from an understocked supermarket just along the road, helped by JM who flung packs of processed cheese slices at me. All the packaging split as the cheese slices hit the aisle, but JM didn’t care. The supermarkets could afford the loss.

I soon realised that my new accommodation arrangement was not going to work. I hated sharing a bedroom and kitchen facilities, and I was furious when my Scarpa shoes went missing from the shoe rack at the front door. Someone had obviously clocked their value and stolen them, along with my £600 calf skin orthotics.

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From holiday to homeless (Belle)

Posted on December 16, 2025 by Dreamaticus

My holiday in a mystery European city was turning into a disaster. When I asked “where am I?” people thought I was joking and refused to answer. The road layout kept on changing, and the students who were hosting me were starting to get irritated by my phone calls asking them to find me and bring me back to their home.

At last it was time to return home. But I couldn’t remember if I was travelling by train or plane. I kept asking my hosts but they were distracted with “more important stuff”. By now I had lost my phone, my suitcase, had no money and was wandering the streets. Eventually, and completely accidentally, I found my way back to the apartment block, only to discover that everyone had been evicted and the building was being demolished. No wonder my hosts had been distracted – now we were all homeless.

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Unwelcome chair, cat, and guest (Rousse)

Posted on December 16, 2025 by Dreamaticus

What was my mother’s old recliner-riser chair doing back in our sitting room?

Why was my sister’s cat rolling round on the floor?

And – more to the point – how had my sister managed to get into the house overnight to set up camp in our study?

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Belle invents a new word

Posted on December 13, 2025 by Dreamaticus

While trying to explain the enormous pumpkin I had accidentally grown, and which was now stored on the kitchen floor, I told my neighbour it was caused by ‘probundance’ – problematic abundance.

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Party animal (Belle)

Posted on December 11, 2025 by Dreamaticus

I woke up on a park bench and saw I was wearing a very ugly pair of bulky black shoes. I asked my companion what had happened. He explained that I had been ‘blackout drunk’ and had gone on a shopping spree, declaring that this was the day I was giving up high heel shoes. I could not accept this story. I had never been drunk in my entire life. Nor would I have willingly thrown away a pair of stiletto shoes.

Later that day, I went to a party and stayed out all night. The sun was pouring into the party house and I sat on a sofa trying to remember how I’d got there. Strangers kept telling me “the party’s over” but I did not take the hint to leave until five people sat on me, squashing me flat.

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