Tag Archives: death

Belle goes swimming (Rousse)

Belle and I stood at the cliff edge, watching the swimmers battle in the rough waves that crashed into the jagged rocks below. ‘I’m going to do it’ she shouted suddenly, throwing her body forward. She fell through the air … Continue reading

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Monkey in a motorhome (Rousse)

With my sister at the wheel of our motorhome, we were driving south through France to the drop off my niece A and her partner D at a ski resort. It was a wonder that we weren’t killed en route. … Continue reading

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Risks of mistaking a deep coma for death (Rousse)

I had some explaining to do when JG and his wife BG flew in for a brief visit. ‘Isn’t you father dead?’ enquired JG, peering over at the wizened old man muttering incoherently in his chair. ‘We thought so’, I … Continue reading

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Beetroot pee (Rousse)

Before I served the soup, I forgot to warn our lunchtime guests of the effects of beetroot consumption. They were probably now staring down lavatory bowls, convinced that they had contracted a deadly disease.

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Reckless driving on the River Tweed (Rousse)

My father was super-impressed that my school friend PM (was PS) owned the land that ran from the back of her house all the way to the River Tweed. ‘Is the bank solid?’ he asked, as he inched the wheels … Continue reading

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Invitation to murder (Rousse)

My family was running the risk of reputational ruin. Already we were known for being loud and eccentric. Now it seems that we had invited someone for dinner and – for entertainment at the end of the evening – murdered … Continue reading

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Marilyn Monroe’s foreknowledge of death (Rousse)

Someone asked me if we should tell the young Marilyn Monroe that she would die in her mid-thirties. I responded that she probably knew this already from checking her Wikipedia entry.

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Holy Island pre-death giveaway (Rousse)

Several of my former colleagues flocked to the Holy Island of Lindisfarne to attend AT’s pre-death giveaway. The ceremony was rather like the reading of a will, except that AT was still alive and you took away your booty on … Continue reading

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A culprit and Akita Staffordshire bull terrier cross dogs (Rousse)

I should have been convicted of causing a death by dangerous driving of a Lothian Buses double decker. I escaped this fate thanks to the snow that covered up all evidence of my involvement. Pinning the blame on a homeless … Continue reading

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Two deaths for Daddy (Rousse)

Both the hospital and EasyDeath had lied. It was impossible that those ashes in the box on the mantelpiece were my father’s because here he was still clinging to life, looking for fish in a low river with my mother … Continue reading

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