Monthly Archives: September 2011

Single women looking for men, and a new line in hot tubs (Rousse)

TPR and GJ were sewn into a two-man Black Watch tartan straight-jacket. Forced together so closely, the dancing tutor believed this would speed up the process of teaching them the moves for the forthcoming ball. Neither was particularly charmed by … Continue reading

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Commuting by ‘Fawlty Towers’ ocean liner (Belle)

The ocean liner departure hall was overcrowded and really confusing, yet still I refused to ask for help. I only wanted to travel as far as Hatfield, but I didn’t know if my ship would be departing from the north- … Continue reading

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Belle ‘bottles’ Great British Bake Off

Newly released from prison, I had unexpectedly made it to the semi-finals of The Great British Bake Off. And now here I was, trying to knead dough on a cluttered work surface in C’s kitchen. It was my first visit … Continue reading

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Lost Shakespeare play: Rousse plays the leading lady

Two gorgeous knights of the realm were fighting over me – with swords! One was my lover. The other was the Duke of Northumberland, determined to win me as his own. I buried my face in the right shoulder of … Continue reading

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Judge Judy and some Hollywood greats (Belle)

I was astonished to learn that my best friend’s boyfriend was taking me to Judge Judy’s court for non-payment of a yoga class fee. I burst into his hotel room and told him, in a stream of obscenities, exactly what … Continue reading

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Regrets of Mrs Harry Potter (Rousse)

Although I was now immensely rich, the downside of life as Mrs Harry Potter was the complete loss of privacy following our marriage.

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Cornwall via Northampton International (Belle)

As I looked into the bay, I saw an EasyJet plane parked alongside a few outbuildings. I asked my guide what I was looking at and she said, “oh, that’s Northampton International Airport”. Things had really changed around here – … Continue reading

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Nicky Campbell and graphic design with a message (Belle)

Radio broadcaster Nicky Campbell arranged for me to meet his ex-wife, who lived in the Outer Hebrides. I was furious to discover that I had to travel by plane, while he went on a roll-on-roll-off ferry. This meant I arrived … Continue reading

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The “sad camel” look in Grantham (Rousse)

My grandmother returned from the dead for a day trip to Grantham by train. I was delighted to see her after almost two decades. However, my happiness turned to horror when we approached an outdoor jumble sale and I spotted … Continue reading

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Rousse ponders a possible abuse of LinkedIn

Surely this was an abuse of LinkedIn? The whole purpose of the site was to display connections between trusted contacts. If BF was correct, and EM and the American woman with the Greek name really didn’t rate me, then why … Continue reading

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