Tag Archives: kitchen

A busy morning with Uncle J (Rousse)

My Uncle J sat on the sofa and enthused about his new business idea: to sell custom-made T-shirts to the British middle classes. I told him that this venture was doomed to failure. I was British and middle class, and … Continue reading

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Teenage Geordie steals a snog and credit cards (Rousse)

I arranged to meet my niece at the top of her University of Newcastle hall of residence. To reach her, however, I had to climb up a huge tower of open IKEA kitchen drawers crammed full of utensils. The only … Continue reading

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A secret phone, a hidden four poster bed, a hard-to-reach dinner venue, and prostitutes (Rousse)

The location of my sister’s holiday house was unclear. It could have been North Northumberland, London or Birmingham. Whatever its location, it was much bigger than I imagined. My school friend Phil soon lost count of how many beds had … Continue reading

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University reunion surprises (Rousse)

At the university reunion one girl complained that her breast reduction surgery had not been worth the bother, another seemed unable to sit still at the table (until we realised that she was popping out for cigarettes every ten minutes … Continue reading

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Television time delayed due to water allergy (Rousse)

My sister JMH and brother-in-law had added another extension to their house. This was an enormous bathroom off the kitchen. Its ‘walls’ were made of canvas and decorated with swirly orange 1970s patterns. In the kitchen itself they had installed … Continue reading

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Christmas cake complications (Rousse)

It was meant to be a simple lunch at my parents’ house, but the complications began as soon as I invited the others to the table. First I noticed that my former colleague AT failed to turn up. Then the … Continue reading

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A failed burglary (Rousse)

I broke into the house that adjoined that of AT and JT, changed into a flouncy silk trouser suit and discarded my dripping wet tracksuit on the floor. The woman who caught me was convinced that I was a common … Continue reading

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