Monthly Archives: December 2018

Disgruntled passengers make illegal leap from Lothian bus (Rousse)

The bus took a ludicrous route. Even though most of the passengers wanted to get off at Princes Street, they were forced to endure an hour’s diversion to Heriot-Watt University first. This was because the bus did not have an … Continue reading

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Motoring misdemeanours in a silver Volvo automatic (Rousse)

When I awoke I found myself at the wheel of my mother’s silver Volvo automatic heading downhill at top speed along a high-hedged, narrow country lane. I bounced across the roundabout at the bottom, lost a wheel, and landed the … Continue reading

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Discussing death by drain (Rousse)

I managed to set up a sewer-phone line to P and SM by lifting a manhole cover in the street. We discussed by drain the death of Durham University undergraduate KF, and how we would deal with her parents later … Continue reading

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Tube traveller thieves (Rousse)

We developed a new income stream: pick-pocketing London Tube passengers as they travelled up and down the escalators.

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An impromptu pedicure with Jose Mourinho (Belle)

The football apprentices were housed in a derelict farm building and we were standing on a farm gate staring in at their sad little faces. Then their manager Jose Mourinho turned up and demanded that they perform impromptu pedicures on … Continue reading

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From Birmingham to Edinburgh by Lomax (Rousse)

I lost all sense of urgency to catch a train from Birmingham New Street to London, knowing that another would be along in fifteen minutes. What I failed to appreciate was that I had to reach the capital by a … Continue reading

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Fine art tips from a hairdresser (Rousse)

I fancied myself as a fine art dealer, so I angled for a part-time position working in an antiques emporium run by my hairdresser.

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