Tag Archives: house

Greedy goldfish and slapdash workmen ruin house and garden (Rousse)

The house and garden were a complete mess: the house because workmen had damaged the newly wall-papered corridor at the back of the flat; the garden because two enormous, greedy goldfish had taken charge the pond, recently flooded to cover … Continue reading

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A very spoiled dachshund (Rousse)

P and SM’s once immaculate house was now the domain of a very spoiled dachshund – and littered with the fluffy white innards of half-eaten soft toys.

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A dream audit for house contents insurance renewal (Rousse)

Since I couldn’t visit the property to check in person, I reckoned that the best way to audit my mother’s belongings for the house contents insurance renewal was to dream myself there. TPR agreed to ‘come’ with me, and we … Continue reading

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From Ellansgate to Quatre Bras, Hexham (Rousse)

So few people used Ellansgate in Hexham these days that the former tarmac road was now an overgrown rooted path. At the junction with Quatre Bras I showed SL the old salmon pool, the obedient yellow ducklings, and the tall, … Continue reading

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Security advice for North Texas airport (Rousse)

I reached the F family’s house first on foot. My frail, elderly father followed by taxi. There we extracted PMF from the chaos of the house rebuild. He’d already missed one flight home to Edinburgh (cost £100), but had just … Continue reading

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A swing, a helicopter, and a sauna (Rousse)

Even I was doubting the sense of my latest charity shop purchase: a plastic orange children’s swing set, just about the right size for a Barbie doll. The others at AH-S and CH-S’s vast house looked at me with pity … Continue reading

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House dressing (Rousse)

From the outside, my sister’s flat looked pretty much the same. The only difference was the selection of handmade cat greeting cards for sale to passing tourists on the window ledge. Inside, however, a huge transformation had taken place. The … Continue reading

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Boris Johnson’s secret farm house tryst (Rousse)

Boris Johnson needed to distract the press and the general public from his latest misdemenour. He roped me in to help him. We met in an old barn full of discarded furniture. From here we took a set of connected … Continue reading

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A place in the Pentlands (Rousse)

Without viewing the place first, PC and CA bought a house in the Pentlands. On arrival at their new home, they discovered that it was an empty field of in the middle of nowhere. They had been swindled into spending … Continue reading

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Removal regrets (Rousse)

A woman struck up a conversation with me as I tried to fix a water bottle to my bike. I asked her if she lived in the nearby crescent. ‘If only’, she replied ‘I would love to be able to … Continue reading

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