Monthly Archives: May 2012

Postman in shorts steals Belle’s heart

As soon as I saw him in his ‘Smart Chav’ label beige shorts, I realised that the postman was the new love of my life.¬† Excited and blushing, I filled the kettle to make him a cup of tea while … Continue reading

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Dress alteration with a paperclip (Rousse)

I recruited TM to help me choose my dress for the party. I eventually settled on the sea green Didier D ball gown that I’d recently bought on George Street. The only problem was that the hook and eye on … Continue reading

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A canine sleeping companion (Rousse)

Perhaps SC had lent him to me? How else could I explain why B the wee dog was lying next to me asleep in bed?

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Queen meets her great-great grandmother in holographic form (Rousse)

We all knew that BB had been working on something rather special. I was excited to be the first to discover the output of his secret project. BB unlocked the massive door to the St Andrew Square house and I … Continue reading

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NHS equipment failure and a biked-themed party (Rousse)

My dermatologist was becoming increasingly frustrated with the radio next to my hospital bed. He’d turn it off, then two minutes later BBC Radio 4 would spring back to life again. I protested that it wasn’t my responsibility. The radio … Continue reading

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A sticky, smelly end (Rousse)

They’d already murdered the brigadier and now it was my turn. They dragged me down the country track to the enormous sewage container tank. This was it then. I was going to die a very dirty death. The main villain … Continue reading

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Werewolves infiltrate British police force (Rousse)

It was hard to believe that my companion knew nothing of the court case. It had been all over the media for weeks. I pointed out the main characters from our vantage point in the public gallery and tried to … Continue reading

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An unfortunate house guest (Rousse)

I’d turned their spare bedroom into a teenage tip and now I’d managed to destroy the whole plumbing system by attempting to hand-wash a hanky. As I pulled the sitting room basin away from the wall, torrents of cold water … Continue reading

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Records management, referencing, and ripping off airline passengers (Rousse)

This “executive briefing” was little more than a run-through of basic records management principles. The sharp-suited speaker was full of confidence when he declared that everything that you ever needed to know could be summarised in 35 minutes. He was … Continue reading

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Novel bruise treatment offered by physiotherapist (Rousse)

GMcM, who I hadn’t seen for over a decade, kindly asked me to his birthday party. Even better, he also invited a bunch of my girlfriends, all from different stages of my life. They included ECM from primary school, my … Continue reading

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