Monthly Archives: July 2018

Don Draper, a dog and a dinosaur (Belle)

John Hamm and I were holding hands and looking for lunch under the railway arches. A massively muscular dog came wandering towards us. “That dog looks like a stegosaurus”, I said and John Hamm laughed as if this was the … Continue reading

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Bacon roll threesome plot a murder (Rousse)

QDX, CSX, GSX and I were so pally that we had taken to meeting for a bacon roll in Crombies each morning, then returning to bed together for a cosy lie-in. We also plotted a murder. Careful to protect ourselves, … Continue reading

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Hateful EPSRC staff (Rousse)

AP passed on the information that Tracey Houston at the EPSRC hated me. ‘She has no idea that I know you’, AP explained. ‘I expect that she thinks her opinions can be confined to the M4 corridor’.

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Unwise Edinburgh property investment (Rousse)

Goodness knows why we sold our beautifully proportioned Georgian Edinburgh New Town flat. Now, instead, we owned two ridiculous pieds à terre. Even students would turn their noses up at the first. The second was uninhabitable thanks to the mess … Continue reading

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Sperm whale kills tourist on Uig Sands (Rousse)

While I photographed the salmon under the bridge on Uig Sands, I believed that TPR was exploring the caves. I was interrupted by an almighty splash as a sperm whale fell from a great height into the river just behind … Continue reading

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The true meaning of tea towels (Belle)

After jogging for longer than I had ever managed before, I came across a large funeral procession. The crowd lining both sides of the street were singing to the coffin. I jogged through the funeral parlour and bumped into SW … Continue reading

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Bill Clinton, Barack Obama and bitcoins (Belle)

The two former Mister Presidents couldn’t be more different. Bill Clinton was the worst housemate and I was delighted when he moved out. Later, following a series of unexplained events, I found Barack Obama in the boot of my car. … Continue reading

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An introduction to a new colleague goes off the rails (Belle)

We were travelling from the office to the seaside on board the company train. I was introduced to the new sales director who told me “I actually have a pretty great sense of humour.” I guffawed in his face. “Simply … Continue reading

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‘Expand’ becomes ‘espand’ at the British Library (Rousse)

I worked on my journal paper in a reading room of the newly refurbished British Library (now selling tweed jackets in the gift shop). I noticed that the young man sitting next to me, who was typing up an essay, … Continue reading

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Career-limiting head tattoo (Rousse)

JG didn’t care that his new dirty blue tattoo covered half his head. When I pointed out that he risked never getting a job with such a monstrous appearance, he explained that he had already considered this. He would just … Continue reading

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