Holiday crime in the Caribbean (Rousse)

On holiday in Antigua I shared a double bedroom with JK, while TPR opted for a single. I couldn’t be sure where KT and KC were sleeping, but I was pleased that they came along. KT almost chose a cycling rally in Bristol over a Caribbean holiday!

While we were sunbathing by the pool another holiday-maker approached us. He boasted that he had sneaked into our all-inclusive resort at no cost to himself or his partner. He explained that they simply turned up at the bar for drinks, and at the restaurant at meal times, where the waiting staff were more than willing to serve them. When I questioned this man’s his morals he sloped off.

I then informed the bar staff of my discovery. They told me that they would be onto the case: this criminal would never be welcomed back.

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A daring flight passenger (Rousse)

Virtually everyone in my department was travelling to London by plane – but I was the most daring of them all, setting off with no passport nor luggage, clutching an old-fashioned paper ticket.

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Topless in the office (Rousse)

My bra was very uncomfortable. I had to keep adjusting it under my black vest top.

I did my best not to draw attention to myself. I didn’t want anyone to think that I was about to return to my naughty habit of going topless in the office.

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To by Virgin East Coast Whitby for a birthday paddle (Rousse)

It wasn’t even a special birthday, but everyone had gone to a lot of trouble to celebrate it with me. They hired an entire East Coast train for a trip to London, with a stop off along the way for a paddle in the North Sea at Whitby.

It was here that SPL revealed that everyone had chipped in £34 each to fund the trip. I was pretty sure that this small amount of money could not have covered everything. The hire of the train, the holiday voucher, and the year’s gym membership must have cost a fortune.

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Cage sunbathing (Belle)

I sunbathed inside a cage.

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Kevin Spacey’s ‘unusual’ hobbies (Rousse)

Kevin Spacey pursued some of his more unusual hobbies with both men and women in a remote corner of Dumfries and Galloway at a guest house frequented by many other American visitors.

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The school dinner rap (Belle)

An old colleague (DP-G) could always talk me into anything. After she was called away to a dog-sitting emergency, she convinced me to take her place in a mixed-pair rapping competition.

I met my rapping partner in the lecture theatre and tried to learn the lyrics. The panic began to set in. It was obvious that I was going to have to stand on stage reading the lyrics off the paper rather than performing.  Also I wasn’t sure I could deliver the “liver and onions” and “tripe” lines with the appropriate level of humour.  My next action was inevitable.  I ran away.

 

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