My brother-in-law M bought an ornate pink and grey painted, fake antique, half-size wooden standard lamp as a birthday present for my sister J. He thought that it looked great plonked in the middle of their bedroom on its very own Persian silk rug. My sister was unimpressed – so much so that she believed that her husband no longer loved her.

Meanwhile I was at the centre of an argument at the White House, Hartburn. It started when I pointed out to my mother that it would make more sense to place dirty sheets and towels in a linen basket rather than fling everything on the floor of the upstairs kitchen. This escalated into a full scale row as I went on to list many other grievances about the standard of household management in our family home.