Tag Archives: sales

A huge hairy monster, a pickpocket, and promises of staff socials (Rousse)

‘There’s a huge hairy monster making a terrible racket in room C44!’ I screamed down the phone to security. What I didn’t tell them was that this was a monster of our own making. We’d created it using a graphics … Continue reading

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A missing child, lost glasses, and vegetable sales to pensioners (Rousse)

After our happy day on the beach R and I walked up the grassy dune and over the hill back to the village – where I lost her, and my glasses. Her mother K didn’t seem terribly concerned. The village … Continue reading

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A charmed life working for Gary Lineker and sleeping with Hugh Grant (Rousse)

Gary Lineker (my boss) supervised our stand at the Online Conference, held this year in the University of Edinburgh’s student union building. Gary wasn’t entirely sure how to find the best position to promote our services, but he wasn’t doing … Continue reading

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Tomsk Womble halts divorce proceedings (Rousse)

“Of course, you know that my husband and I couldn’t possibly separate until January 2015 at the very earliest?” asked a friend while we were in the process of discussing the divorce of another. “Why’s that?” I enquired. “In the … Continue reading

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Door-to-door salesman firearms shocker (Rousse)

It was Sunday morning at 10:00am and we were still fast asleep when the doorbell rang. TPR grabbed his dressing gown and made a dash down the hallway to see who was calling. I followed him. Our caller was a … Continue reading

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Conference relaunch exceeds all expectations (Rousse)

They all said that the new format of the conference from 2012 would be a more modest affair. How wrong they were! Swarming around one of the best hotels in London were top figures from the industry and legions of … Continue reading

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Unique knitting patterns for all (Rousse)

I made an important scientific discovery: each human hand has a unique print. My left hand print, for example, represented the finest Belgian lace. In contrast my right one comprised two sections, the top half littered with random islamic symbols … Continue reading

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On trend for autumn 2012: the frog face shoulder bag (Rousse)

The conference exhibition had changed beyond all recognition. Gone were the sales reps touting the latest online systems. In their place craft-folk traded handmade ware, such as traditional wooden toys and hand-woven reed baskets. On a leatherwork stall I saw … Continue reading

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Failed funeral hair mission on the A286 (Rousse)

When I first took the phone call I thought it was my mother speaking, but as the north east accent became stronger I began to have doubts. If she were to be believed, an aunt had died and the funeral … Continue reading

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Sales rep sings badly for his supper (Rousse)

It was imperative that we raised more money. C and I sat at the table with a sales rep and discussed our strategy. Then C’s mobile rang. The name on the phone’s screen read “Michael Tait”. While C chatted to … Continue reading

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