Tag Archives: bar

Gym sex pest (Rousse)

My father-in-law’s much younger brother Richard invited me to the back of the house to show off his ‘gym’. The old panelled bar – handmade by my father-in-law in the 1970s – still stood, and old water colours of sailing … Continue reading

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Bars, cocaine, prostitutes, tattoos – and a gargoyle (Rousse)

He was staying out all night in dodgy bars, snorting coke, and seeing prostitutes, but it was the tattoos that really marked the end of my marriage to TPR. The first was a patterned band located beside his watch strap, … Continue reading

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Banter with Chris Packham and the deathbed wedding of a soap opera character (Belle)

I stood at the prison gates to see my friend PB released. He had been (wrongly) accused of being a suffragette and had been subjected to force feeding.  We went home and when I opened my fridge, every item in … Continue reading

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Police presence in Leith blocks smooth passage to underwear Albert (Rousse)

When I saw that Leith Walk was swarming with police, I began to understand why my colleagues in Engineering had expressed concern that I was walking down to the waterfront on my own. I couldn’t work out the reason for … Continue reading

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Naval engineer in smoking disgrace (Rousse)

My father organised a big birthday party for me in a social club. TPR and I would be a little late joining our guests, but we knew that JM (who was bound to come on time) could look after those … Continue reading

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Eminem and me (Belle)

I could either put the dishes away and go to bed or take a walk in the night-time industrial wastelands of 1980s London. I chose the walk and bumped into Eminem. We knew each other vaguely and we linked arms … Continue reading

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Hotel holds guest’s underwear hostage (Rousse)

AH, CS, NY and SY pulled up outside the house bang on time at 3pm. ‘Look what we’ve brought!’ showed off AH, as he dragged two life-size cardboard cut-outs of me and TPR into the house. Each with a mop … Continue reading

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Tattoo sins and Leviticus 19 (Rousse)

In a posh bar I discussed student tattoos with AN and AS. Over the course of our conversation we made frequent reference to Leviticus 19 in the huge, ancient bible on my lap. Although it wasn’t my round, I thought … Continue reading

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Champagne-guzzling errant husband is useless at packing (Rousse)

TPR and his sister SG had broken off from our main party to take seats in the hotel’s poshest bar. When I spotted them they were working their way through an elaborate Champagne tasting tray, the most expensive item on … Continue reading

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Hexham cocktail bar kidnapping (Rousse)

My mother and sister S ordered cocktails at £150 a shot in a posh bar in Hexham. I knocked the drinks over because they had been delivered to a brown leather sofa cushion. When I complained to the staff that … Continue reading

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