A charmed life working for Gary Lineker and sleeping with Hugh Grant (Rousse)

Gary Lineker (my boss) supervised our stand at the Online Conference, held this year in the University of Edinburgh’s student union building. Gary wasn’t entirely sure how to find the best position to promote our services, but he wasn’t doing too badly. I was impressed that he’d already managed to sell every place on KB’s Google course.

Personally I wasn’t offering any training so I wandered off to see if I could find my boyfriend Hugh Grant on the Thomson stand. (Whether or not I could really call Hugh my boyfriend was debatable. We’d slept together four or five times – did that count?)

I became distracted when I noticed a set of sales staff near a staircase arguing over a half empty box of ethernet cables. It sounded like one of their competitors had been stealing their stock to network all the schools in Scotland. I sat down beside them and helped count the remaining cables. Then we plotted all the telecomms masts in Scotland on a map. I was both pleased and proud to be able to show off my expert knowledge of the mobile hot spots of Sutherland and the Outer Hebrides.

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