Tag Archives: child

A Teesside child bike thief (Rousse)

Posted on April 10, 2023 by Dreamaticus

You could say that it was my own fault that 9 year-old Tory stole my bike. TPR would be aghast to learn that I had left it unlocked outside the pharmacy, even if I argued that I was in a … Continue reading →

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Redneck American tourists impressed by British physique (Rousse)

Posted on May 23, 2022 by Dreamaticus

My mother-in-law’s step-parents – elderly, redneck Americans – and their extended families blew all their savings on a trip to visit their relations in the UK. We organised a boat trip for their entertainment. The women instantly fell in love … Continue reading →

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How not to change a nappy (Rousse)

Posted on September 5, 2021 by Dreamaticus

My status in the household was rather ambiguous as the former au pair girl. Should I really be left in charge of the children three decades later? That question was answered when I attempted to change the sodden nappy on … Continue reading →

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New York Times publishes coded message to run Trump out of town (Rousse)

Posted on July 18, 2021 by Dreamaticus

How could this be a holiday if I were sleeping at the lecturer’s desk in front of a class of thirty, all of whom were also extremely angry that the week of sunshine, sea and sand that they had been … Continue reading →

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German child expert rescues newborn from drunken babysitter (Rousse)

Posted on September 14, 2020 by Dreamaticus

Not long after the S family moved house to the other side of town, J returned to babysit for the new neighbours. She looked after their newborn baby every afternoon so that they could attend cricket matches. Given that our … Continue reading →

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Abusive parental role play (Rousse)

Posted on September 6, 2020 by Dreamaticus

This was not my best idea for a bonding exercise: find a partner; allocate the roles of mother and daughter; perform role play on the basis that the parent hates the child.

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A polyglot and a primate (Rousse)

Posted on May 6, 2020 by Dreamaticus

TPR threatened to accompany me to the ball naked. Happily, instead, he dressed in his dinner suit. However, he did have a big surprise for me. He had rounded up my two best friends from undergraduate days (HJ and SL) … Continue reading →

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Stolen childhood treasures for sale on eBay (Rousse)

Posted on April 9, 2020 by Dreamaticus

A small brown cloth badge stitched in white with the letters T, H and S caught my eye on eBay. Someone from my old school must be selling on the site. The same seller had posted a chipped Blue Peter … Continue reading →

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The world’s most versatile dog-themed kitchen gadget (Rousse)

Posted on June 9, 2019 by Dreamaticus

The dog sculpture in jade looked good in MB’s new kitchen and I now regretted that the family had given it to her as a present. The ornament was also much more versatile than we had first believed. The head … Continue reading →

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A cradle corpse (Rousse)

Posted on May 12, 2019 by Dreamaticus

My track record with newborns was not good so I was somewhat reluctant when LM’s sister asked me if I would like to hold the baby. While the baby was still in her aunt’s arms, I pulled back the white … Continue reading →

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