Tag Archives: shopping

Show-off shopping (Rousse)

My new companion was a bit of a show-off. A little older than me, this slightly overweight man was keen to present himself as a wealthy individual with ready cash to spend. To demonstrate this, he identified a shop that … Continue reading

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Orange shopping with Jason Isaacs (Belle)

The move to Spain had been disappointing so far. I hadn’t expected the fruit market to resemble the Bromley Glades shopping centre this much. Jason, however, seemed to love it, joking around with the stall holders and juggling oranges into … Continue reading

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Short shorts on a fat body (Rousse)

I’d grown so fat that I could only pull my turquoise shorts up as far as my thighs. It was extremely uncomfortable (as well as unsightly) to wander about dressed in this fashion. I needed to go clothes shopping – … Continue reading

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Teenage criminals target Sainsbury shopping trolleys in Gateshead (Rousse)

Poor Darren had his work cut out on the Customer Services counter at the Gateshead Sainsbury’s megastore. His queue grew longer and longer as I explained the whole sorry tale of  my purchases. I had selected a mix of groceries … Continue reading

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Private jets and potty mouth swears (Belle)

I turned up at my old workplace to be told I had better hurry up and moderate the meeting that had just started. I wanted to know who was going to be writing up the report and my boss said: … Continue reading

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Shopping disturbances (Rousse)

VAE and CM telephoned me from a ‘country fare’ style gift shop. VAE leant against a display of pink stilettos as she was speaking to me. She shouted in alarm when the first one on the shelf toppled over and … Continue reading

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Gym gatecrashers (Rousse)

The personal trainers had removed most of the artefacts that I had brought in to customise my corner of the gym. Now piled up higgledy-piggledy against the wall were the certificates and newspaper cuttings from my 10k races, the stereo … Continue reading

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Left behind groceries at LIDL (Rousse)

A pile of groceries lay on the floor at the entrance to LIDL: a cabbage, a dozen potatoes, a few sprouts, and six tins of tomatoes. They’d been there for at least two days, but nobody knew the reason why. … Continue reading

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The lost and a linguist in Toronto (Rousse)

TPR and my cousin N both left the shopping mall before I had a chance to put my change into my purse and gather my bags. When I eventually followed them out into the Toronto streets I could no longer … Continue reading

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Quad on the Tyne – with David Tennant (Rousse)

My mother took up observing the wildlife of East Lothian in the dead of night using infra-red technology. She invited us to join her one evening. David Tennant turned up to wave us off – my mother on a quadbike, … Continue reading

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