Tag Archives: shopping

Teenage criminals target Sainsbury shopping trolleys in Gateshead (Rousse)

Poor Darren had his work cut out on the Customer Services counter at the Gateshead Sainsbury megastore. His queue grew longer and longer as I explained the whole sorry tale of  my purchases. I had selected a mix of groceries … Continue reading

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Private jets and potty mouth swears (Belle)

I turned up at my old workplace to be told I had better hurry up and moderate the meeting that had just started. I wanted to know who was going to be writing up the report and my boss said: … Continue reading

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Shopping disturbances (Rousse)

VAE and CM telephoned me from a ‘country fare’ style gift shop. VAE leant against a display of pink stilettos as she was speaking to me. She shouted in alarm when the first one on the shelf toppled over and … Continue reading

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Gym gatecrashers (Rousse)

The personal trainers had removed most of the artefacts that I had brought in to customise my corner of the gym. Now piled up higgledy-piggledy against the wall were the certificates and newspaper cuttings from my 10k races, the stereo … Continue reading

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Left behind groceries at LIDL (Rousse)

A pile of groceries lay on the floor at the entrance to LIDL: a cabbage, a dozen potatoes, a few sprouts, and six tins of tomatoes. They’d been there for at least two days, but nobody knew the reason why. … Continue reading

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The lost and a linguist in Toronto (Rousse)

TPR and my cousin N both left the shopping mall before I had a chance to put my change into my purse and gather my bags. When I eventually followed them out into the Toronto streets I could no longer … Continue reading

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Quad on the Tyne – with David Tennant (Rousse)

My mother took up observing the wildlife of East Lothian in the dead of night using infra-red technology. She invited us to join her one evening. David Tennant turned up to wave us off – my mother on a quadbike, … Continue reading

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Dismantling a dog, rib by rib (Rousse)

The steak dropped out of my shopping bag and fell to the ground. A dog dashed forward to grab the meat. The dog’s owners tackled the dog. The only way to retrieve the steak from the dog was to remove … Continue reading

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A good deed turned bad (Rousse)

I stepped out of my seat to help the old lady left standing in the middle of the bus. My intention was to prop her up. Instead I accidentally pushed her over. All the contents of her shopping trolley went … Continue reading

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Friends con and a pink fantasy fairytale princess (Rousse)

When we sent off for the offer we understood that we would receive a large Friends poster in which each of us would take the position of Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey. Instead, we received six almost-identical prints … Continue reading

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