Competing priorities (Rousse)

Several ‘priorities’ competed for my attention.

  1. I needed to get everyone back to the cinema so that we could watch the rest of the film that I was carrying around on a DVD in my handbag.
  2. Someone should answer JM’s tan leather-covered phone.
  3. I had to get a couple of desperate members of our party to a public toilet. (In the end we found one some way away at the back of Arthur’s Seat.)
  4. I had to tidy up all the black beads and pearls that had spilled out of my mother’s jewellery box onto the floor without her realising that I was clearing it out. (I said that I intended to get all the necklaces restrung.)
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Puppies, a purchase, and a punch (Rousse)

I travelled to Worthing with my in-laws to identify a puppy for purchase. I wasn’t certain that this was a good idea. I had not discussed it with TPR, and even if he agreed to such plans, I was beginning to think that it would more a better idea to commit to puppy training in the summer vacation rather than over the Christmas holiday.

Then I was distracted by a second hand clothes emporium. Some goods were available for purchase and others free of charge. I headed for a rack of running trousers and picked out a couple of pairs. When I asked how much they cost the tall, thin, black assistant questioned why I was buying school trousers for the purpose of exercise.

My next concern was a staff grievance case. My accuser had reported that I had hit her at work. I responded with a punch to the midriff – an act that I immediately regretted.

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Paris wedding giveaway (Rousse)

I took my Cousin’s N advice not to post a cheeky Facebook comment about his son T and my sister J, then stood up to clear the dirty glasses from the top of the piano. We needed to get a move on if we were to reach the wedding (and big family gathering) in time.

As we crossed the McMaster campus I asked about the apartment that we had just left. Would Cousin N be willing for me to stay there when I returned for my longer stay at the University? I could tell that he wasn’t keen. If he allowed me to stay, he would lose rental income that he would otherwise enjoy from paying tenants.

We continued our walk across campus and spotted VJ dressed in a white fur-trimmed leather heading into the library coat to continue work on her thesis.

Inside the wedding venue we found an assortment of relations sitting quietly at round tables. The ginger headcount was high (including some amazing curls) so we knew that we were in the right place, but everyone was uncharacteristically quiet. This frustrated my colleague KC, who attempted to excite the audience as he gave a PowerPoint presentation on how he had won some free tickets to Paris, and was happy to offer them to the family.

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Wedding gatecrash (Rousse)

My new flat was somewhere near Arthur’s Seat in a run-down corner of Edinburgh. I struggled to cycle there due to forgetting the route and thus turned a short ride into a mammoth journey.

When I saw a coach come along the single track road I flagged it down and climbed aboard with my bike. The other passengers included most of my immediate family. We disembarked beside a what looked like a snow-covered hill. It was, in fact, an iced hill, decorated to look like a wedding cake.

At the top we found a empty formal dining room partially laid out for a 60th wedding anniversary dinner. It was impossible to tell whether the event was planned or had already taken place, but I was certain that we were not on the invitation list. It took some effort to remove my family from the venue, especially PGH and SEH who thought that they could help themselves to the small amount of food and drink on offer.

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A really bad wedding dress (Rousse)

Having divorced GG, JG was now free to remarry. She wore a truly awful pale blue heavy cotton polka dot dress for the ceremony.

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A Canadian squat (Rousse)

Cousin HA left her family in the UK for Canada, where she lived in a tiny filthy bedroom with two other wayward young women.

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Stage scaling and an overgrown Brownie (Rousse)

The venue for my talk was a vast lecture hall that held hundreds, and it was packed. From my spot on stage I recognised many faces from from the information world in the audience. Amongst them were groups of students who passed from row to row like shoals of fish swimming through the shallows.

JR, of the University of Birmingham’s library service, was meant to introduce me. Dressed in yellow and brown, she looked like an overgrown Brownie. Before me, however, SW was meant to have a few words. This was taking an age, and the longer I stood there, the more nervous I became, despite my recent media training.

Then my sister J appeared next to me on stage and started talking, unaware that she was breaking protocol. This was very embarrassing and I was so relieved when the man in charge announced that there would now be a procession from the stage into the audience.

It was only when we had stepped down from the stage that I realised that I was not meant to follow everyone else. I turned to retrace my steps. This was going to be very difficult. The way back to the stage now took the form of an elaborate carved rock-face. I really did not have the strength or the dexterity to scale it, and was not happy at the prospect of ‘helpful’ people pushing me upwards from behind.

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A bargain cashmere cache (Rousse)

I found an old-fashioned hand-knitted royal blue cashmere cardigan inside the envelope sent to me by BB. The price-tag on it said £25. Although it was tiny and wouldn’t fit me, I thought that that the cardigan might be suitable for my niece F.

This garment led me to a former student who now ran an interior design shop. She mistakenly thought that I was an international fashion buyer. She was very disappointed to discover that my interest in her faded jumpers and scarves was simply driven by a desire to bag a bargain.

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Madonna in blue silk (Rousse)

Madonna looked slim and beautiful in a deep blue silk gown. Everyone would want a piece of her, but all that interested her was spending time with me and our immediate friends.

We took a corner in the sitting room where we arranged just enough chairs around a low table for the few chosen ones.

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When one temptation leads to another (Rousse)

This was so wrong. I rolled over in bed to find X next to me. He reached across to put his arm around me.

‘Y and I are no longer a couple’ he confessed. ‘How about you and I get together?’

Much as I loved him, I protested that this was a ridiculous idea – which was just as well because this was a trap. Y was lying right next to X, waiting to witness my reaction to his advances. By resisting X’s charms I passed the test.

X got out of the bed and left the room. Y then lunged at me. ‘This is for real’ she said, as she wrapped her legs round my body and covered me in kisses.

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