Tragedy on the ice at Edinburgh airport (Rousse)

I was one of hundreds of anonymous passengers stranded at Edinburgh airport, many of whom were returning home from ski-ing holidays. For entertainment the airline put on an evening display of ‘danses populaires’. JG took my arm and led me to the dance floor, keen to join in.

When night came we all bedded down on the hard airport floor. My spot was between JG and a BBC reporter covering the event. I had some trouble sleeping, partly due to the din of the low-flying fighter jets that passed at high speed overhead. It was also rather inconvenient that the airport redecoration programme sprung to life at night-time with painters and decorators milling around the building. I eventually settled myself by reading a book of lists.

Our sleep was interrupted by the arrival of JK. As proud of my achievements as any father, his voiced boomed across the hall of sleeping bodies as he called my name. Now that everyone knew that I was in their midst, they all wanted a part of me.

Not everyone, however, was pleased to have been dragged from their slumber in such a manner. CM and his wife were particularly annoyed. The latter jumped up from her bed on the floor, shouted loudly that she would now not be able to get back to sleep, and declared that she would go sliding on the airport ice instead. As she stepped onto the slippery tarmac JK shouted a hopeless warning ‘Don’t play there. There’s a bus coming!’ It was too late: CM’s wife was crushed under the wheels of the bus.

This was a terrible shock to us all, but especially to those who knew the M family. I felt particularly bad because CM’s wife would not have even woken up had JK not entered the hall and called out my name. JM recognised my distress and suggested that we get a drink.

We ended up in a Stockbridge pub with many others who had also been stranded at the airport and witnessed the horrific tragedy. There I hunted for someone else who knew the M family. I eventually came across NS in the queue at the bar. He told me that he wasn’t certain that CM’s wife had died, and that we should not give up hope. I found his optimism somewhat unfounded.

Meanwhile JM decided that this pub was too full for his liking, so he led me and his friends to the bus stop at the other side of the bridge on Hamilton Place to wait for the night service into town. Given that this would stop very close to my flat, I decided to return to the airport to collect my house keys. Then I could head straight home after our visit to the next bar.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Kidnap victims escape captor by first class rail (Rousse)

BR and I were being held hostage by a crazy gunman who thought it hysterical to ‘tease’ us by holding a gun to our heads. Even funnier, in his warped mind, was to hand the deadly weapon over to each of us in turn with the request that we pull the trigger on one another.

Our only means of escape was by train to London. Unknown to our captor, PC worked on the ‘other side’ to make the bookings. He even managed to secure first class seats for us by cashing in some special vouchers.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Abandoned in a fabulous Hebridean folk bar (Rousse)

It no longer seemed such a shame that the doctor had banned me from cycling when we saw that the Isle of Lewis was covered in unseasonal snow. Instead we took one of the tourist coaches heading from the port to our holiday destination.

In doing so we would see so much more of the island, including a fabulous folk bar not far from Stornoway. It was just a pity that the tour guide was not paying attention and accidentally left us behind in the bar.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Son learns of surrogate half-sister through father’s ex-girlfriend mother of the baby (Rousse)

My godson James was the son of my ex-boyfriend. He hardly saw me in his childhood, but now a young adult he was keen to befriend me to learn more about the early life of his father.

This posed difficulties. Unless I asked him outright, I did not know whether he already knew about his abusive grandfather. I suspected that James may have actually suffered at the hand of his own father, so perhaps this news would not be so great a shock?

A more pressing question was whether or not I should confess to this earnest young man that I was still in a relationship with his father. What would be his reaction when he learnt that the beautiful dark-haired woman in the green silk dress was our surrogate, carrying his baby half-sister?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Scottish island cycling skeleton surprise (Rousse)

Cycling in the Scottish islands in May is always a pleasure with the lengthening summer days and low likelihood of rain.

However, it is not so enjoyable when your wheels take you over a massive seaweed-covered midden where the skeletons of dead islanders lie – especially when multiple bones have drifted to the surface.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A risky revealing nightdress (Rousse)

I met Belle outside the British Library. At first we were thrilled to discover that we had both topped our outfits with thin, silver-grey, suit jackets. Our joy turned to disappointment when we realised that just about every other professional woman of our age within 100 yards was dressed in an identical fashion.

We hugged, had a quick chat about which reading room would make the best base for our day, and then made plans to meet there later.

We soon abandoned the idea of work. Instead we wandered down to the shoreline to take a look at the sea. When Belle ran into the waves, I watched her from the pebbly beach.

I didn’t dare join in her fun because I was knickerless. No longer wearing my grey jacket, I was wary of my thin nightie turning transparent in the water and revealing all when I emerged from the sea.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A papier mâché model, a lost purse, and a problematic pub food policy (Rousse)

When I returned to work from sick leave I was less than impressed with my new office arrangements. I was to share room C75 with an office mate who had already moved into the room a bed as well as a desk, and dumped an enormous papier mâché model of the countryside (built by his kids) in my space. I took one look and said that I would not be coming back until everything was cleared.

In fact I returned quite promptly because I left my handbag behind. By the time I was back on campus someone had moved it into the middle of a corridor. Thankfully no money had been stolen from my purse.

On my way home again I called into the pub for lunch with TM and SC. TM declared that his steak pie was disgusting and asked the waitress to take it back to the kitchen. Rather than do so, she implemented the restaurant’s new policy of eating the rejected food at the table in front of the customers. We all found this a highly embarrassing experience.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Arrogance and recklessness on the road and high seas (Rousse)

Arrogance and recklessness were a dangerous combination, especially on a busy narrow road. At the wheel of his white Mercedes, SM was lucky to avoid a head-on collision with a huge truck.

He was not so fortunate when he failed to brake in time for the traffic lights just a few metres further up the road. From my position on the back seat I hoped that the bump would be a gentle one. We were lucky to escape without injury.

SM decided to abandon the car on the spot in favour of a boat moored in the nearby river. We all followed him up to the deck, not one of us a sailor. We drifted further out to sea over the course of several hours, and would have surely died out there if SM had not been apprehended by the police.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A new name (Belle)

My drag king name was Hercules Proudfoot.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Mining hippos and Action Man’s lunchbox (Belle)

I arrived at the art party a week after everyone else. I was sorry to have missed the anthropomorphic murals showing hippos working in coal mines.

Later, I took my drink and stared out of the window.  A toy helicopter, with Action Man in the pilot’s seat, flew towards me and hovered outside. I enjoyed all the details inside the cockpit – I could even see Action Man’s packed lunch, tartan flask and banana. I called my fellow guests over to enjoy it but then the helicopter turned around and a bizarre religious message was pinned to its side.  I’d been tricked into enjoying something hateful.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment