Author Archives: Dreamaticus

Reasons not to move to the country (Rousse)

The front door of our flat was boarded up, and through the windows you could just see that all our belongings had been removed. So it was true. We were moving out of town into an old farm house, the … Continue reading

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Beautiful bedroom with loch view (Rousse)

WB showed off her new living quarters: a small but beautifully furnished bedroom complete with a square IKEA daybed and a huge picture window that looked straight out onto the loch. So what if it was remote? WB would be … Continue reading

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Jungle rapist apprehended by mobile dental service (Rousse)

My girlfriend and I beat a path through the remote African jungle. We had no idea of how we would ever find our way back to safety again, but we were grateful to discover a sheltered spot under some ancient … Continue reading

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Call for Sunday opening at the National Library of Scotland (Rousse)

‘And this is why we need Sunday opening too’ said the librarian as she led us through the main reading room of the National Library of Scotland (recently refurbished with lovely new blue chairs). I glanced over and understood her … Continue reading

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Potato and pea poisoning in buy-to-let investment (Rousse)

TPR and I and some friends invested in a buy-to-let flat. One of our co-investors took the lead on the renovations and started by dismantling the navy blue bath. We chose the wallpaper (in the event too expensive for a … Continue reading

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Social media scam targets patients (Rousse)

A tall, thin, grey-haired man approached me as I walked along the Old Edinburgh Road with TPR. When he addressed me as ‘Miss’ I knew that this was some kind of scam. He wanted to know about my last encounter … Continue reading

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Hairy-legged daughter of schizophrenic dances in the tropics to hits from the 1980s (Rousse)

I managed to reach my father by phone from overseas. He chatted happily about his schizophrenia as if I had always known about his condition. In fact, this was all news to me. Then I joined TPR at the bar … Continue reading

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Tight black underwear and the most unpopular woman north of Aberdeen (Rousse)

TPR and I bought an enormous country pile just north of Aberdeen. Granted it was right next to a massive housing scheme (thanks to my mother for pointing this out), but it would make a fantastic venue for our forthcoming … Continue reading

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Belle and the Bikers

I had unwillingly become part of the Hairy Biker Tourist Team.  We were enjoying looking at great works of art in a sunlit cathedral, but kept getting interrupted by footage of the Hairy Bikers wearing mankinis on the beaches of … Continue reading

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Talking donkeys (Rousse)

I had a quick conversation with some donkeys in a field about my forthcoming presentation (as yet unprepared). Meanwhile TPR was in trouble because (a) it had rained so heavily that water had come through the ceiling of our flat … Continue reading

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