I arrived a couple of minutes late to be admitted to the auditorium where TPR and some of our friends were in the audience of an Edinburgh Fringe theatre production. Luckily, there was a sudden unexpected power cut before the actors took to the stage, so I snuck in and found our party in the dark of the third row.

In the seat that should have been mine was a much younger woman, snuggling up to TPR. Our friends were obviously familiar with this arrangement. When the lights came back on and she saw me, TPR’s young lady took flight.

Although I was angry to discover further evidence of my husband’s extra-marital dalliances, I was relieved that my own affair with a young London ex-polytechnic lecturer called Tweed could somehow be legitimised as a form of romantic tit-for-tat.

More worrying, however, was the discovery that TPR had contracted yellow fungus disease from his amorous adventures. This was in urgent need of treatment – not least because this fatal contagious skin disease is normally found in reptiles (especially bearded dragons), and not in humans.