I asked my sister-in-law J where I should store the raw steak. I didn’t want to put it anywhere near the butchered corpse in case it was mistaken for part of J’s murder victim. J suggested that I put it in the boot of one of the cars, but I didn’t know which one she meant. This was because she named an unfamilier model of 1950s American car. (She couldn’t specify the car by colour because we’d all travelled independently to the meeting spot in pale blue vehicles.)

While J was interviewed by a rather inept police detective I took a wander around John Lewis. It was late in the day and they were busy moving the displays around the store. I eventually ended up in the stationery section where a musician was fund-raising for charity by entertaining the shoppers.

MSB sidled up to me and urged me to donate. I was glad that I had bumped into her because I had intended to invite her out for supper on Tuesday. This provided the perfect opportunity to ask her out in person.