I gatecrashed a gathering of famous female pop stars and actors in the Durness community hall. I persuaded them that I was their fitness instructor and insisted that nobody was exempt from my exercise class. None of them really wanted to participate, least of all Lady Gaga.

Afterwards I had to rush off to prepare dinner for my sister J and her family. She requested no cheese, and told me that the meal would need to end promptly so that they could all leave at 1:00am.