I came up with my new business idea when standing next to a large black Edinburgh street refuse bin. Inside I could see several cellophane-wrapped mounted pictures. They were left over from the recent degree show at the art college. I inspected some more bins nearby and found further pieces of unsold art work. If I could gather all this material together, I was sure that I would find buyers for the new graduates’ output. I would offer the artists a cut on the sale price, if they allowed me to market their work.

Muscular Stuart from Dumfries (my new boyfriend) could be my business partner. I just needed to confirm that he was debt-free, and not simply courting me to gain access to my vast fortune. (There was also the minor question of his wife and two children. They knew me as a ‘family friend’. I wasn’t prepared to continue this deceit indefinitely.)