While sharped-eyed tourists spotted semi-disguised David and Victoria Beckham strolling down Edinburgh’s Royal Mile, my murderous rampage around the city was still secret – but not for much longer…

I thought that it would be safe to store the latest corpse in the boot of an old black Volkswagen beetle destined for scrap – until my mother and husband decided to check the contents of the abandoned car parked at the bottom of Victoria Street.

They would soon be dreadfully disappointed to discover that I was murderer. The revelation of my evil antics was unimportant to me. Rather, my main concern was the prospect of spending the rest of my life in a prison cell.