Dreamaticus populae
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Recent reveries
- A bad day at the office (Rousse)
- Aunties identify adoptees (Rousse)
- Alpine pig-snoring and the price of pork (Rousse)
- Missing Sussex child discovered captive in dirty bungalow (Rousse)
- Work as a guerrilla gardener and clandestine cleaner (Rousse)
- A pea-green tandem and pink counterpanes in South America (Rousse)
- Cold War cleaner (Belle)
- Older woman refuses to give up her younger man (Rousse)
- Swollen blue vein mystery (Rousse)
- Cycling up Arthur’s Seat in the snow (Rousse)
- Disabled passenger booted off the bus for smoking (Rousse)
- Access to King Charles III’s innermost circle (Rousse)
- John Lewis furnishings favoured by terrorists (Rousse)
- Bare-bottomed criminal intent at Ambridge Hall (Rousse)
- Wrist splint wreckage at the reunion (Rousse)
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Author Archives: Dreamaticus
Decomposed body found near former film set (Rousse)
Until Hollywood’s arrival, the village’s reputation was limited to “reasonable pit stop for British families en route to the French riviera”. Three years since serving as the backdrop to one of the most successful movies of all time, the village … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged airport, camera, cameras, corpse, death, die, disc, dogs, Dolce and Gabbana, film, Finnish, France, French, German, hashtag, Hollywood, hotel, mall, medical, military, movie, photo, pit stop, pool, rain, river, riviera, running, sand, shoes, shopping, sumo, sunglasses, swimming, toddlers, tweet, Twitter, uniform, water, weather, wet, wrestling
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Belle holidays with The Monkees
The caravan was extremely small considering at least two of The Monkees had joined us for a holiday. To escape the cramped quarters, I went on a tiny train deep into the hillside for an “authentic taste of 19th century … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged caravan, chicken, coalmine, grill, hill, holiday, pasta, The Monkees
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Reality TV hits a new low (Belle)
Despite reality TV being declared dead, here I was on the set of another lame programme. ‘Model Soldiers’ involved implausibly attractive people being put through their paces with real soldiers. The main prize – a trip to a combat zone … Continue reading
Rousse roller-blades, writes proposals, and collects cast-offs
Late for work, I struggled to roller-blade uphill over the cobbles of Edinburgh’s Old Town in pursuit of the overweight female folk singer. The early morning street cleaners were a further obstacle, especially when they took pleasure in “accidentally” spraying … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged bras, cast-offs, Edinburgh, editor, fish. fish tank, folk, grant, handbag, hose, iPhone, journal, mattress, Old Town, pregnancy, pregnant, proposal, ribbons, roller blades, roller-blading, singer, street cleaner, test, underwear, University of Birmingham, water
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A successful escape (Belle)
It was a daring escape plan. I gathered my friends and the dog and the cat into a wire mesh cage, locked us in and started to slide down four fights of stairs, stopping only to push the front door … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged babies, cage, cat, dog, escape, rescue, shampoo, stairs
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Belle goes to work on an egg
Although I had heard many ridiculous business ideas, the suggestion that I invest in a second-hand soft-boiled egg concern was the definitely the worst.
Katie Price’s (aka Jordan) career on the conference circuit, and a life of crime in Australia (Rousse)
Katie Price (aka Jordan) was my new, self-appointed, right-hand woman. She accompanied me to all my speaking engagements, often with her two younger children Junior and Princess. On this occasion I was delivering a keynote paper on computer security at … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Australia, burglar, computer, conference, felt tip, Jordan, Junior, Katie Price, London, mind-map, police, policeman, policemen, policewoman, Princess, scrubs, security, TPR
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Basking shark sighted in freshwater pond (Rousse)
The child tugged sharply at my hand, hurrying me along to see the black kite that she had spotted floating in the pond. From the water’s edge I could easily tell that this was not a kite, but the dorsal … Continue reading
Angelina Jolie spotted by nobody but Rousse, an unplanned pregnancy and Lenten gifts
Angelina Jolie (my new best friend) insisted on coming into town with me. She wouldn’t listen to my pleas that she would be recognised and the pair of us would be mobbed. In the event I was proved wrong. Nobody … Continue reading
