Author Archives: Dreamaticus

Rousse messes up version control

As I settled into my seat to listen to the first speaker I caught a glimpse of the conference programme. It looked so much more colourful and detailed than the version that Belle and I had sent to the print … Continue reading →

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Lamb stew, jelly sweets and a yellow makeover (Belle)

Although about to fly out to Missouri to give a lecture, I was hopelessly underprepared. I was trying to pack, even as Dame Maggie Smith had the hotel staff move all my possessions to the room next to her. This … Continue reading →

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Russell Brand? No, Russell Grant (Belle)

Russell Grant’s costume was one of the most daring ever seen on Strictly Come Dancing. His underpants had been embroidered in sparkling lurex columns ‘Vote Russell’. While the crowd applauded I called out to someone in the kitchen. “Come and … Continue reading →

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Rousse escapes the timetable but gets trapped by her past

A timetabling mix-up meant that it was now up to me to entertain the final year students for two hours. I rummaged in the box of handouts that I had taken to the last class in the desperate hope that … Continue reading →

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Security enforcement with Charlie Drake and sliding with Suggs (Belle)

Thirty years after I did it the first time, I was now moving into my hall of residence. This time round I was at ‘a Northern University’ but had no idea which one. When I lay on my single bed, … Continue reading →

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What to not wear (anywhere) (Rousse)

All week LM had been wandering the gym floor in her fitness instructor uniform. Now that it was Saturday morning she had changed into a full length taffeta ball gown. The dress was embarrassingly vile. Its ballooning peach skirt was … Continue reading →

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Sex change surgery marriage trap (Rousse)

Tall, slim, out-going, blonde and beautiful, Sharon would someday make someone a lovely wife. As far as I was concerned, however, the time was not now. In addition, when the happy day eventually came, I expected that her groom would … Continue reading →

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A surprising new role (Belle)

This new entrepreneurial venture had taken me unawares. Was I really a landlady of this seaside bed and breakfast operation? Who had decorated the place with net curtains and rich red velvets? And since when had I taken up smoking?

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A day out with Ian Rankin (Rousse)

I was unsure why I was entertaining Ian Rankin at my kitchen table, but it had to happen eventually. I’d been (unintentionally) stalking him in Edinburgh for years, or – as I often joked – he’d been stalking me. Plonked … Continue reading →

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Secret military airbase at Edinburgh airport harbours unexpected relations (Rousse)

I knew that it was too good to be true, but this didn’t stop my enjoying the company of my long-dead aunt, uncle and grandmother when I stumbled across them living happily together in a small house on the edge … Continue reading →

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