Although about to fly out to Missouri to give a lecture, I was hopelessly underprepared. I was trying to pack, even as Dame Maggie Smith had the hotel staff move all my possessions to the room next to her. This confusion meant I now had two of everything in my room, including two boxes of Meltis jelly sweets. I was also cooking a lamb stew, which I was meant to be taking to my American hosts, although I forgot this detail and ate the lot.

Meanwhile my sister ‘did my make-up’. This involved her brushing yellow powder over my forehead. It now seemed likely that I would not be allowed into the US because I looked so ill.