Tag Archives: surgery

Scar incision treatment protects against exploding breasts (Rousse)

The hospital staff recalled me for a puzzling procedure called ‘scar excision’. I had no idea that this was part of my long-term treatment, and was rather reluctant to go through with this notoriously painful operation. By now my scar … Continue reading

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Katie Price is a patchwork of plastic surgery (Rousse)

I joined Katie Price and Peter Mandelson as an extra on a film set in Edinburgh. Up close Katie Price looked terrible. Her face was a patchwork of plastic surgery and the reconstruction of her teeth barely disguised.

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A cosmetic surgery suspect (Rousse)

I was pretty sure that TDX had undergone cosmetic surgery. Her front teeth were now a set of neat white pearls set in gummy pink plastic. I also harboured suspicions regarding her lips.

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A day trip by train to Plymouth (Rousse)

I was disappointed that TPR would not join me on my day trip by train to Plymouth. It was such a beautiful summer’s day, and he would have enjoyed the ride (even if the train was packed, especially in the … Continue reading

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Murderer serves lunch to transsexual surprise guest feet away from victim’s remains in biscuit tin (Rousse)

I planned X’s murder to coincide with his holiday. That way nobody would miss him when he didn’t turn up to work. While I deliberated over where to dump his body parts, I kept them in a small round red … Continue reading

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Katie Price returns to work as earnings drop (Rousse)

Katie Price (AKA Jordan) was offering her services as a beautician at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. “Why would anyone with your wealth be waxing other people’s legs?” I asked her. “I only earn £300,000 a year”, she replied as she called … Continue reading

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BBC employee discovers drug den in Edinburgh’s Stockbridge (Rousse)

My high-powered job on Radio 4 required regular trips to London for meetings. Because I needed to be up early the next morning to catch the 05:40 train, I had to consider my sleeping options carefully. The first possibility was … Continue reading

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