He was staying out all night in dodgy bars, snorting coke, and seeing prostitutes, but it was the tattoos that really marked the end of my marriage to TPR.

The first was a patterned band located beside his watch strap, and the second a vine of love hearts that spread from the base of his left wrist and up his hand. They latter looked ridiculous on a middle-aged man.

The third upset me the most. Even the tattooist was very reluctant to ink in my name around the face of an ugly gargoyle, half way up TPR’s arm.