Naked bathing buddies (Rousse)

Posted on July 29, 2014 by Dreamaticus

I jumped into the bath at the gym – with someone else’s fat, hairy husband.

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Presents for little girls (Rousse)

Posted on July 28, 2014 by Dreamaticus

XY’s children had no idea of the trouble that their father had caused and I saw no reason to cancel their visit.

The elder girl loved the hardback book that I had made for her, even though I thought she would hate the photograph on the cover. She also approved of the bikini top that I had bought and put it on straightaway under her swimming costume.

Her little sister also wanted some new clothes. However, she was only eight years old, and I had failed to find anything suitable for someone so young.

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Fostering in Bristol (Rousse)

Posted on July 27, 2014 by Dreamaticus

I took up part-time fostering. My charge was a boy of about 11 years of age whose father had left the family, and whose mother could not cope.

My first assignment was to spend a Saturday afternoon with him and JG’s dog Buster (normally resident in California). The plan was to take him to St Andrews Park in Bristol where he would meet a friend to play on the swings, and then hand him over to his father for the evening. The day went reasonably well until the dog slipped his lead, jumped into someone’s garden, and destroyed a white picket fence.

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Removing a Word template watermark (Rousse)

Posted on July 26, 2014 by Dreamaticus

The directory structure on the shared drive was in a terrible mess. Thankfully I eventually found the file that I was looking for.

The proposal read well, but I was somewhat surprised that my colleagues thought it appropriate to present the text in a file with a background watermark of the snowy Scottish highlands. “How could this be removed?” I asked myself.

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A Rousse-Belle reunion (Rousse)

Posted on July 26, 2014 by Dreamaticus

In London. Saw Belle. Happy.

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When a game leads to a mountain rescue (Rousse)

Posted on July 24, 2014 by Dreamaticus

NP had taken up a new sport. It didn’t have a name, but involved standing on mountain ledges and batting random items into the air.

I nearly fell off the mountain the day that SF, TPR and I joined in NP’s fun. Fortunately TPR was able to save me by hauling me back up from the dodgy cliff face on to which I had fallen.

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Three labradors foxed (Rousse)

Posted on July 24, 2014 by Dreamaticus

TPR made the mistake of petting the two red foxes. This encouraged them to follow us on our walk down the country lane.

When we came across another party, the danger to the three golden labradors was obvious. The foxes chased the dogs over a wall and to their deaths on the rocks below.

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Medical emergency at King’s Cross, Richard Curtis style (Rousse)

Posted on July 23, 2014 by Dreamaticus

It was as if we were in the middle of a script of a Richard Curtis film, where all the female characters were in love with the same man. I belted one of the other girls with my handbag when I realised that she was my love rival.

The main focus of the plot, however, was my best undergraduate student. He had survived a crushing at a London football match (the medical bill would have been £14 million) but occasionally took a fit. This time he fell ill on a train journey just as we came into King’s Cross station.

We all sprung into action as soon as the train came to a halt. We carried my student’s arching body down to the tube and on to the hospital at Bedford Square as fast as possible.

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A Land Rover driving experience (Rousse)

Posted on July 23, 2014 by Dreamaticus

I drove the family Land Rover through town in a most haphazard way, skidding in the snow and almost mowing down several pedestrians – but somehow I got away with it.

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How to save money when dining out in Kendal (Rousse)

Posted on July 23, 2014 by Dreamaticus

TPR and I moved to Kendal. At first we thought it would only be a short stay, but we took the decision to retire to the town, largely because its hilly streets would keep us fit.

To save money we worked a clever scam. We would turn up at someone’s house and request a recipe. Then we would steal all the pens and paper in the house so that there was no means of writing the recipe down for us. Now the easiest thing for our victims to do was to demonstrate the procedure for cooking the food in question, and then serve it to us.

This worked particularly well at the house of a couple who we interrupted playing a board game that looked like a cross between Scrabble and Subbuteo, complete with wooden players.

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