Tag Archives: football

An unplanned wedding and retro hooligans (Belle)

When I checked the agenda at the Women in Industry event, I was horrified to see that an afternoon session had been set aside for me to marry D, a married man with a thousand children I’d crushed on for … Continue reading

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England World Cup win 2020 and TFL infographics (Rousse)

England won the Cricket World Cup, and a Premiership football team triumphed in some European championship or other. This wouldn’t have interested me – if it weren’t for the annoying bunting and smug faces south of the border. My main … Continue reading

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Belle and Aitch on the ball

I tried to buy cigarettes in Paris but got distracted by lavender and mango bath salts which cost €52.50. Later the rapper Aitch and I started a wildly successful YouTube channel (‘On The Ball’)  in which we taught each other … Continue reading

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The ginger squatters of Benfica (Belle)

I walked out of Goldsmiths College to take a walk. I bumped into a group of local red-haired squatters. They were riding red horses that were being led by red dogs. I stopped to chat with the group. They told … Continue reading

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An impromptu pedicure with Jose Mourinho (Belle)

The football apprentices were housed in a derelict farm building and we were standing on a farm gate staring in at their sad little faces. Then their manager Jose Mourinho turned up and demanded that they perform impromptu pedicures on … Continue reading

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A Glasgow kiss (Rousse)

On the outskirts of Glasgow, in a field, en route to a football match, my companion wrapped me in a passionate embrace and pulled me to the ground. We rolled around in the grass for several minutes. It was only … Continue reading

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Thieving World Cup football fans (Rousse)

I was pleased that the meeting was called in Corbridge because it was an easy ride back from there to Edinburgh. I checked the old-fashioned departure board at the railway station and confirmed my plan to catch the 13:45 service … Continue reading

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Rousse supports Manchester City (Belle)

I was on a coach trip to the Manchester football derby. There were impressive fan facilities and a jumble sale. My friend found a lovely cream and orange sweater on a stall and ran over to me. I was amazed … Continue reading

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A visit to football HQ (Belle)

I was reunited with my former best friend AH for our visit to the Head Office of the English Football Association. While I was wearing a formal suit, she was wearing a mini-kilt, knee-length socks and an oddly bulky top. … Continue reading

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Lumpy legs and a football cure for bad posture (Rousse)

I showed the lumps on my legs to my office-mate BR. ‘You’d better get those checked by a doctor’ he said. I replied that I would do so – just as soon as I got dressed. Forty-five minutes later I … Continue reading

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