Tag Archives: football

Football obsessive forgets his manners (Rousse)

I hadn’t seen SA – a boy I first met aged 7 at primary school – since a school reunion in 2011. I thought that he would have better manners at our surprise meeting than to start the conversation with … Continue reading

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Ae fond kiss and then we sever – with Graeme Souness (Rousse)

Graeme Souness took me aside and whispered that he felt that English soccer could do more to identify young local talent rather than look abroad to develop their teams. For example, he argued, there must be dozens of young men, … Continue reading

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An unplanned wedding and retro hooligans (Belle)

When I checked the agenda at the Women in Industry event, I was horrified to see that an afternoon session had been set aside for me to marry D, a married man with a thousand children I’d crushed on for … Continue reading

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England World Cup win 2020 and TFL infographics (Rousse)

England won the Cricket World Cup, and a Premiership football team triumphed in some European championship or other. This wouldn’t have interested me – if it weren’t for the annoying bunting and smug faces south of the border. My main … Continue reading

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Belle and Aitch on the ball

I tried to buy cigarettes in Paris but got distracted by lavender and mango bath salts which cost €52.50. Later the rapper Aitch and I started a wildly successful YouTube channel (‘On The Ball’)  in which we taught each other … Continue reading

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The ginger squatters of Benfica (Belle)

I walked out of Goldsmiths College to take a walk. I bumped into a group of local red-haired squatters. They were riding red horses that were being led by red dogs. I stopped to chat with the group. They told … Continue reading

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An impromptu pedicure with Jose Mourinho (Belle)

The football apprentices were housed in a derelict farm building and we were standing on a farm gate staring in at their sad little faces. Then their manager Jose Mourinho turned up and demanded that they perform impromptu pedicures on … Continue reading

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A Glasgow kiss (Rousse)

On the outskirts of Glasgow, in a field, en route to a football match, my companion wrapped me in a passionate embrace and pulled me to the ground. We rolled around in the grass for several minutes. It was only … Continue reading

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Thieving World Cup football fans (Rousse)

I was pleased that the meeting was called in Corbridge because it was an easy ride back from there to Edinburgh. I checked the old-fashioned departure board at the railway station and confirmed my plan to catch the 13:45 service … Continue reading

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Rousse supports Manchester City (Belle)

I was on a coach trip to the Manchester football derby. There were impressive fan facilities and a jumble sale. My friend found a lovely cream and orange sweater on a stall and ran over to me. I was amazed … Continue reading

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