Neglected dog shares family tableware (Rousse)

DB and LD were leaving town for a long trip.

I wouldn’t have volunteered to help had I known that they lived in such a midden. The house was absolutely filthy, and extremely untidy.

My job was to ensure that their collie was catered for while they were away. “Just get him some water and he’ll be fine”, they said. When I asked about a bowl they pointed to cupboard that stored glasses. The dog didn’t have a special bowl. He just shared crockery and glassware with the rest of the family.

When I discussed the arrangements with the dog he was very dismissive. In a show of protest he knocked over the glass of water that I had prepared for him.

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Scottish surveillance spooks out in force in Leith (Rousse)

Leith had changed. The streets were lined with beautiful boutiques. Even the charity shops were posh. There were also hundreds of cyclists riding through this smart Edinburgh suburb, proud of their achievement of completing the entire route of the Edinburgh cycle paths.

Another aspect of modern-day Leith was not quite so attractive. The government had installed white metal periscopes to spy on citizens along the shore. Our friend B and R took especial exception to them. We all tried to kick the periscopes out of the way whenever they approached us. It was a futile gesture: they were programmed to return, time after time.

Later I wondered if we were a special target for surveillance when someone photographed me through my bedroom window. I guessed that they were really interested in the antics of my sisters (rather than me). I’d safely hidden them in my kitchen. I would protect them from the Scottish spooks, no matter what.

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Dinner with Bowie (Belle)

Turning up at a dinner party alone is never easy but I fronted it out as well as I could.  Things improved dramatically when David Bowie took the vacant seat next to me.  He told me that he had so thoroughly enjoyed our conversation the last time we met, he had demanded the seat next to mine.

I may have arrived alone, but I left the party arm in arm with David Bowie – my new boyfriend.

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A magic tank-top (Belle)

My neighbour was talking to me again after several months of stony silence.  She knocked on my door to show me the magic tank-top she was knitting.

Depending on the angle you viewed it from the, the tank-top sported a variety of colours and patterns.  I was astonished, impressed and jealous.

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From igloo filmatography to sign language, by way of cliff-top croquet and cycling (Rousse)

“I’m looking for an expert in igloo filmatography. Do you have any recommendations?” asked CM, freshly arrived at the T family’s house after a long journey from Australia, where she headed up a major international charity.

I suggested that she look for someone with experience of taking photographs for ski holiday brochures. They’d offer expertise in dealing with the lighting problems associated with snow.

We then went outside and played croquet on the cliff-top lawn with the rest of family until it was time for me to set off to the school reunion on my multi-wheeled bike.

The venue for the reunion was a large hut in a wooded glade. Although the setting was rural, I couldn’t be certain that my bike would be safe leant against a tree, so I took it to pieces to store safely indoors.

The first person that I encountered inside was DB. This was quite a surprise since she had not been involved in any of the Facebook conversations about the reunion. Another woman gave me a big hug, then confessed that she had gate-crashed. She wasn’t even in our year. Where were all the people that I expected to see?

Then I spotted HD-B and PM (all the way from New Zealand). Now we were talking! I was most impressed that PM was now fluent in sign language and could convey coded messages back to family members at the other side of the world.

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Country kitchen chicken liver pâté: serving suggestion (Rousse)

I caught (supposed) vegetarian KT serving portions of home-made chicken liver pâté onto dinner plates in her huge country kitchen. The quantities were enormous. Here guests would never eat portions that big.

My lecture on food waste was not welcomed.

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Dog on a tandem (Rousse)

We made a visit to LG and GE in South Queensferry to discuss possible wedding presents. Afterwards we all travelled back into town by tandem. LG and I took one bike, and TPR and GE the other.

I found it rather difficult to steer from behind, and crossing the motorway with the added complication of carrying a yellow labrador over the handlebars only made matters worse.

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Friendship, Filofaxes and mud (Rousse)

While P tried to persuade the rest of us – S, L, T, TPR and me – to part with £2000 per couple for the next instalment of our friendship premium, I showed T the many uses of a stripped Filofax.

Later I walked across a boggy lawn with HW. We failed to save our shoes from the mud.

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Dumped and exiled abroad (Rousse)

TPR had ended our intimate relationship and now I was stuck in France. My life was effectively over.

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A trophy wife (Rousse)

My cousin B was due to marry J. There were some doubts as to whether or not he would turn up at the ceremony. Rather than go directly to the church with everyone else, I held back with the bridal party just in case we had to cancel B’s walk down the aisle. I was at the scene should someone be needed to comfort the jilted party.

Happily J was there to greet his fiancée and the ceremony went to plan.

The most remarkable feature of the wedding was not J’s non-appearance (as feared), but the huge range of silver trophies on display at the reception. At first I thought that these represented the achievements of the happy couple. I soon discovered that B and J were taking care of all this silverware on behalf of the local Young Farmers.

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