G and LE started a fashion for building houses half way up the crags of Holyrood Park. My parents planned to do the same. In the meantime we lived in a small caravan in a car park next to Holyrood Palace. It wasn’t an ideal pitch, mainly because the field right next to us was used to lay out the bodies of the victims of the recent Greek massacre.
One day I left our temporary home to meet JS, who had promised to show me round the high court of Edinburgh. J’s role at the court was so important that her name was inscribed across the portal of its main entrance. I learnt from this that she had two middle names: Kay and Mali. I also met her family for the first time. She introduced me to her young husband, her 11 year-old son, and her 8 year-old daughter. Both children wore multi-coloured cotton jumpers.
At the start of the tour everyone was instructed to pick up a long staff and don a silk scarf, then line up for the procession. Meanwhile J and the other leading (and very glamorous) female lawyers took their places to explain the workings of the judiciary.
We were half way through the tour on the top floor of the court building when the trouble started. Beyond the roof-top car park in the street below I could see armed police, rioters, and members of the general public dressed in running outfits. When I heard the first shots I took immediate shelter under a table with TPR and my sister J.
Jaded academic seeks oblivion with the help of yellow jellied cocaine (Rousse)
It took us a while to find the meeting on the top floor of a deserted University building. The venue was a formal board room, and it was packed. All the great and good were there, including KW who greeted me as an old adversary, even though we had never shared a cross word.
Also in attendance was A, who seemed to have been sparing for a fight. It sounded like he had dragged some new people into a debate that should have been left buried back in 2014. I hoped that I wouldn’t be called up to comment.
Proceedings were brought to order by Robert Gordon University PhD graduate R. He asked us to work in groups on a number of tasks. My plan to maintain a low profile was thwarted when it became obvious that I was the only member of my group known to everyone else in the room. This meant that I was obliged to act as group leader and report back on our conclusions.
Perhaps this is why I sloped off to a bedroom with a supply of yellow jellied cocaine that had been kindly given to me by the Caribbean multi-millionaire drug dealing boyfriend of one of my students? I popped the coloured jelly into my mouth and waited for oblivion to take me.
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