TPR had had enough of his driving ban. He took the car keys, jumped into the driver’s seat, instructed me to sleep in the back, and hit the road north. When I woke, I could tell that we had passed Ullapool.

‘Where are we heading? I asked.

‘To the bone caves’, he replied ‘For a 10k mountain walk’.

Normally I would have been happy to do this. However, setting off at 7pm on a chilly autumn evening was simply not sensible. TPR pulled into a passing place for the ensuing argument.

Our argument was only broken when an American wrenched open the driver’s door and snatched the car keys. She was convinced that we were both drunk. It was her role as a responsible citizen to keep the pair of us off the road.