Dr Who companion travels back in time in vain attempt to stop Brexit (Rousse)

I travelled back in time, unseasonably dressed in furs, to a country fair on a warm summer’s day in 2010.

I found the yellow and white striped stand at which I was to deliver my message. I leant over the hardwood counter and declared that I was ‘from the future’. The man in charge of the stall barely acknowledged me.

‘I can prove it’, I boasted, hunting in my handbag for my iPhone, confident that it would show the date in 2018 from which I had travelled. When I pulled it out, however, it had transformed into an old-fashioned mobile and displayed a date in May 2010.

Nevertheless, I issued my warning at the top of my voice. ‘Brexit is coming!’ I shouted. A few people turned to look at me, but not one of them understood my message. Now that I had their attention, I explained that there would be a referendum in June 2016, and I begged them to vote ‘Remain’. My instruction was met with more blank looks.

Then a woman official glanced over at me and whispered under her breath ‘I think that’s the transport coming’.

I heard the TARDIS before I saw it. I was very much looking forward to seeing Dr Who again, but disappointed at the failure of my mission.

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A floppy disk photograph of Trump’s London parade (Rousse)

President Donald Trump was in London to visit the Queen. I watched him parade up the Mall in a black armoured car, accompanied by mounted members of the Queen’s Guard.

I was not there in person, but saw this all on television in an old-fashioned electrical shop. I mentioned to the shop owner that had I been in London myself, I would have liked to have photographed this spectacle.

‘No problem’, he replied, pushing a small box across the shop counter towards me.

‘I’ll put a 3.5 inch floppy disk in here. You press the button when you want to take a shot, and you’ll get your picture. If you could make a copy of the disk at home and then return it to me by post, I would be most obliged.’

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A messy office Christmas party followed by seaside coffee and cake in Aberdeen (Rousse)

A mixture of colleagues from all stages of my career came to the staff Christmas party. These included: my old boss JH; the wife and eldest daughter of my old office-mate SM; current colleagues DB and LD; a tall, skinny, moustached new member of staff who seemed to take a fancy to me; and a couple from another university (CO and AM).

Everyone was so exhausted after the meal that they lay down on the floor to sleep (allegedly – the moustached man had other ideas). The next morning they headed off without a thought for the mess of the previous day.

Since FR and I were the last ones left, we felt it was our responsibility to tidy up. Then we changed our minds: we would leave an apologetic note for the cleaners instead.

We quickly gathered up our things, then set off for morning coffee and chocolate cake at a seaside café in Aberdeen.

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Spotted on campus (Rousse)

My return to campus was very confusing. I couldn’t even locate my office. In the end I gave up and met the PhD students in the photocopier room instead.

Then I ran into EH. She was curious about my scars and I was happy to show them to her. However, when I lifted my top I was distracted by an array of pea-sized, clear gel-filled, blisters that appeared to have colonised my torso. How did they get there?!!!

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PhD in Middle Eastern history: the mock viva experience (Rousse)

I was completely unqualified to serve as an examiner at this mock PhD viva. What on earth did I know about Middle Eastern history?

I had been persuaded to participate on the grounds that I could ask all the standard questions:

  • What was the overall aim of the research?
  • What inspired you to explore this topic?
  • What is your contribution to the field?

No one seemed to care that I would be completely unable to interpret the answers, nor continue the examination with follow-up questions.

At the viva itself everyone ignored me. They also paid no attention to the candidate. The whole meeting turned into a detailed debate about politics between the Director of Studies and second supervisor. This was no help to the student whatsoever.

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A Star Trek screening and a sick bed sanctuary (Rousse)

I was in no fit state to trek across the mountains after my operation, but TPR made me do this so that he could watch Star Trek films at the university cinema, snuggled up to a couple of women, who we used to know from our undergraduate days (CG and TS).

Worse for me, the minute that I was spotted on campus, HR staff made a beeline for me, assuming that I was back at work after my operation.

I headed out of the main building and hunted for the bus stop. Although I had no change on me, it would be worth paying extra to get back home to the sanctuary of my sick bed.

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Unusual lavatory layout for school parties in Stockton-on-Tees (Rousse)

Formerly known as Hector’s House, the third of the double garages (including the coach house) at the White House, Hartburn, Stockton-on-Tees, was converted into holiday accommodation for school parties.

On the ground floor there was a self-contained bedroom with en suite bathroom for the group leader(s), and a dormitory for children. Above there was a big common room, as well as the bathrooms.

I had seen communal showers before, but was rather surprised to discover the layout of the child-sized lavatories in open groups of three.

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A long soak (Rousse)

The Manor House bathroom overlooked the grounds towards the bay. Here JM and I took a long afternoon soak. Meanwhile TPR was elsewhere (most likely working on code).

When it was finally time to get out, a French student brought us freshly laundered blue and white striped towels, all fluffy and warm, straight out of the tumble dryer.

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Party limits (Rousse)

The parties hosted by my cousins were now so popular that they were obliged to fix a sign to the door to note that there was a limit of 100 guests.

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Rare red toothpaste

I chastised GC for his wasteful use of rare red toothpaste as he applied yet another 8-inch streak to his toothbrush.

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