My relationship with Eminem (or Marshall as I was now calling him) was going from strength to strength. Although marriage hadn’t been mentioned, and no formal proposal had been made, Marshall helped me fashion a wedding headdress out of costume jewellery and old perfume packaging.  He’d brought a famous singer with him on our date but I wasn’t sure if it was Lady Gaga or Taylor Swift. She said to Marshall “…we really should do a duet” and I rolled my eyes. “That ain’t happenin’, honey”, I said to myself.

I carried a wriggling cat around the corridors of Goldsmiths College and the students thought I was a ‘happening’ piece of performance art.