Tag Archives: tartan

Reality TV dating and the joy of comfy slippers (Belle)

I couldn’t shake off the film crew and it dawned on me that my entire date would be televised. I wandered from shop to shop in Blackheath trying on outfits. Oddly everything looked just great on me and I bought … Continue reading

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A shaman, a shopping trolley, and sisters’ satin dresses (Rousse)

The camp site shaman forced everyone to hand over their belongings on arrival. We were meant to do the same. Somehow, however, I had managed to find a way of acquiring the goods of others. I took a blue tartan … Continue reading

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A Tartan Pole (Rousse)

The first person that I came across upstairs at the White House was a sulky half-naked teenage Polish friend of my nephew. I was appalled that she barely greeted me when we passed one another in the upstairs hall. When … Continue reading

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An orphan’s treat cut short (Rousse)

I volunteered to help with the orphans by taking charge of a very snotty two year old. A male colleague and I chaperoned the toddler around town following instructions issued by a lady dressed in a brown tartan outfit. Unfortunately … Continue reading

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Intruders with a Chinese theme (Rousse)

When I first opened my eyes I was very surprised to see my colleague AC standing over me at the side of the bed. “I’ve brought your breakfast”, he announced, waving three thin white carrier bags overflowing with Chinese food … Continue reading

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Thirsty Queen congratulates academic on latest leg of jubilee tour (Rousse)

For security reasons the date of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee visit to campus had been kept a closely guarded secret. It was a complete coincidence that I happened to come into the office on that particular day at the height … Continue reading

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An unplanned journey to the Hebrides (Rousse)

My father paid £19 each for all five of us to visit the castle and within minutes I had ruined everyone’s day. How was I to know that the bus was not a shuttle around the estate, but instead a … Continue reading

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Single women looking for men, and a new line in hot tubs (Rousse)

TPR and GJ were sewn into a two-man Black Watch tartan straight-jacket. Forced together so closely, the dancing tutor believed this would speed up the process of teaching them the moves for the forthcoming ball. Neither was particularly charmed by … Continue reading

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Celebrities gather for the wedding of the three-way bride – with Prince William, the Charltons, and Elton John (Rousse)

It was the biggest party in Hexham since my own wedding in 1987. Everyone was at the reception. Prince William represented the royal family in his red tartan trousers, sporting heroes Jackie and Bobby Charlton entertained the younger guests with … Continue reading

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Father Christmas explains quantum mechanics (Rousse)

The first guest speaker was an absolute marvel. Anyone would surely struggle to beat that performance. When GR invited TPR to take to the stage, I really felt for him. He, however, showed no concern. The session began in a … Continue reading

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