Mafia threat over late PhD (Rousse)

Posted on March 10, 2013 by Dreamaticus

The Mafia boss grabbed both my wrists, pulled me within inches of his ugly mug, and spat out his threat:

“If you don’t finish that PhD soon, I’ll sue you for the sponsorship money”.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Student presentation overload (Rousse)

Posted on March 9, 2013 by Dreamaticus

This was going to take forever. Every student that I had ever taught was lined up to give a 5-minute presentation. I most pitied those at the back of the queue. What a wait it would be for them!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A bad job interview soon forgotten (Rousse)

Posted on March 9, 2013 by Dreamaticus

I’d been drafted in to help recruit some new research staff for Sunderland University.

The panel members compared their notes after the interviews. We agreed that one of the candidates was hopeless. The chairman also noted woefully that it would be a tricky job providing feedback to someone who failed the task in just about every respect.

Then I looked up from my papers. Who was that extra person in the room, nodding in agreement? How embarrassing: it was the hopeless candidate herself! What was worse, she didn’t seem to realise that we were talking about her.

I soon forgot all about this when SM asked me about my “double cheek”. He was one of the few people who knew me well enough to have spotted my tiny facial scar – and I loved him all the more for asking.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Birthday celebrations with the latest iPhone downloads: Champagne, cake and candles (Rousse)

Posted on March 9, 2013 by Dreamaticus

SL led the running group on a seemingly never-ending set of circuits around the quad. I was doing surprisingly well up at the front. Poor DT was struggling, however. When she fell over NP rushed to her rescue. Perhaps this was enough exercise for one day?

Afterwards we sat at the side of the quad to download Champagne and cake to SL’s iPhone. When everything was in order we raised our glasses, wished SL a happy birthday, and then she blew out her candles.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rousse shares some website design tips

Posted on March 9, 2013 by Dreamaticus

My friend proudly unveiled the freshly pressed website for her new online business.

What a disaster! Given that her business was built up around the concept of selling coloured craft materials, it made no sense at all that she had chosen to present the whole thing in black and white. Then there was the ludicrous forgettable and utterly unpronounceable URL. It even included a redundant silent letter, for goodness sake!

My friend wanted to ignore my feedback on the grounds that I was a mere academic. What would I know about big business and web design?

I reminded her of my association with large professional services firms and my work on intranet developments with Silicon Valley companies in 1995. From across the room my other friend SL looked on, turning green with envy on hearing of all the fun that was had in the heady days of the dot.com boom.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rousse reveals the secret talents of her mother’s son-in-law

Posted on March 7, 2013 by Dreamaticus

My mother looked really depressed.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“The decorating”, she replied.

“Why not pay someone else to do it?” I suggested.

“I can’t. The terms of the grant specify that the work must be completed by a family member”, she explained.

“Then ask TPR”, I said.

She looked at me sheepishly and shook her head. At first I thought that she meant that this would be a terrible imposition. I was wrong. After much probing she finally admitted the reason for her reluctance to hand over the paint brushes to my husband: his company was too boring.

It took just a few seconds for me to cite plenty of evidence to reject this claim. As I listed TPR’s “other talents”, my mother’s depression seemed to lift and she raised a sly smile.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rousse is late for school

Posted on March 5, 2013 by Dreamaticus

We were going to be late for school and JM was furious. He stormed into my bedroom at the White House to find out why it was taking me so long to get downstairs. I explained that I was just cleaning my teeth and then I would soon be ready. Meanwhile, after a chilly night in the spare bedroom, newly-engaged LP was also getting her act together.

When we eventually gathered downstairs to get into the car I realised that I had left my regulation brown school uniform jumper up in my bedroom. There was no time to go back and fetch it so instead I grabbed a fluffy short-sleeved bolero from a pile of clothes in the hall. My plan was to wear this to my first class then go and find a “proper” jumper for the rest of the day from lost property in the morning break.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The world’s most beautiful beach (Rousse)

Posted on March 4, 2013 by Dreamaticus

Although I supplied the food for the end of term party, I had no intention of eating a mince pie with green butter. Next to the spread, CFS and I discussed escape plans for the holiday. Would we get away with not coming in on Thursday, the last official day at work? I was pretty sure that my boss would be there to check that everyone worked right up to the last minute. Anyone in my team who left early would be taking a huge risk.

Regardless, I made that Wednesday my last day on campus, and first thing the next day TPR and I drove west. We were going to visit the world’s most beautiful beach. Our destination – found on a small island off one of the Inner Hebrides – was a sore disappointment. We knew of a hundred better candidates than this tiny bay and its damp, dark cave.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sting beats Mick Jagger in conversation competition (Rousse)

Posted on March 2, 2013 by Dreamaticus

Sting was giving his full attention to AD, but I didn’t mind because I knew that my turn would come eventually. I made myself comfortable knitting on the sofa listening to Eddie Mair in the second half of Radio 4’s PM programme.

When Sting and AD ended their conversation and I moved into position. I told Sting all about our family trip to Aberfeldy in Easter 1979. During that holiday I read A man for all seasons in the bath as preparation for my English Literature O level exam, and my sisters and I begged my parents to play Radio 1 whenever we were out and about in the car. I recalled singing along to The sultans of swing by Dire Straits and catterwauling to Cool for cats by Squeeze from the back seat of the silver Granada. Sting didn’t correct me when I also mentioned De Do Do Do De Da Da Da by the Police, even though this single wasn’t released until December 1980.

Sting listened to all this intently, then told me a thing or two about his own life. I was impressed at his fitness given his age, and congratulated him on his conversational style. He was so much more interesting than Mick Jagger.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Belle brokers world peace

Posted on February 28, 2013 by Dreamaticus

I stood up to address the warring parties with a solution as simple as it was obvious.

“You must all learn that it’s OK when others don’t agree with you”

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment