Vending machine bonus (Rousse)

I found a vending machine that spat out £1 coins in exchange for loose coppers.

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Toilet drugs haul (Rousse)

I heard that there was “free stuff” in the men’s toilets. I hovered by the door and managed to catch a glimpse of the goods on a desk: a mix of pink 40th and 50th birthday cards, plus some pens and rulers in a pot. I made a quick dash through the door and grabbed some of the contents of the pot for the students.

When I returned to the corridor and checked my loot I discovered that these were not pens and rulers, but drug ampoules for diabetics, and specialist mathematical instruments. I felt obliged to return them, even though an Indian doctor advised me that I should keep the drugs on the basis that they might someday come in useful.

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Belle’s dream deluge (Rousse)

Belle had been without a computer for a week. This explained why she posted nine new dreams to Dreamaticus in a single day.

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Detention for a naughty school girl (Rousse)

GW and I sat up at the front of the minibus next to the driver – a 15 year-old blonde girl dressed in her pale blue school uniform. While I fiddled with my camera settings in an attempt to keep the body on “adult DLSR” (rather than switch to a white plastic child’s model), our driver chatted away at us incessantly. She hoped very much that we were enjoying our “holiday in Europe”, completely oblivious of our status as senior academics travelling on university business.

A warning light illuminated on the minibus dashboard to indicate an obstruction ahead. In the middle of the road about half a mile further on we encountered the child-driver’s gym teacher, his arms outstretched. He was furious with his pupil for sleeping with a dark-haired Olympic swimmer in the school swimming pool changing room. As punishment he had come to collect her and put her in detention.

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A new reality TV star (Belle)

My friend JB had become the unlikely star of a new reality TV show.

Cameras at a supermarket car-park filmed members of the public attempting to park their vehicles in bays that were slightly too small.

JB had won over the jaded British public with her ability to remain calm and for coining the country’s latest catchphrase – “Am I in yet?”

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Rousse reveals a mean streak

J was surrounded by a mess of papers and five pound notes. On closer inspection I discovered that the papers were newspaper cuttings about all her former triumphs, and it dawned on me that what she was doing was waiting for someone to read them. I thought it would be really funny to see what would happen if I gathered them up and put them on the fire – just to test her reaction, of course…

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Burnt breakfast and a wet trip to Edinburgh Zoo (Rousse)

All the ingredients were laid out in the kitchen so I made a start on breakfast: one slice of bacon and a fried egg for me in one pan; three fried eggs for TPR in another. While all this was cooking I mixed up pepper slices (orange), raw green beans, chopped tomatoes, with five or six varieties of cheese (including feta and Stilton). When TPR emerged from the bedroom he was appalled to discover the bacon and eggs burnt to a crisp, and announced that he did not find my “salad” appetising.

Breakfast abandoned, we set off for Edinburgh Zoo. We had to pay extra to get through the gates at dawn, but it was worth it for the view of the three suns rising over the North Sea to the east. Our photographs would be good, even though we had forgotten to bring our DSLR camera.

Then it started to pour with rain. Neither of us had packed a coat for our day out. We were idiots.

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A wasted trip to the University of Birmingham’s Muirhead Tower (Rousse)

I found my timetable on a scrunched up piece of brown paper in the bottom of my handbag. I’d looked at it so infrequently that I was unsure as to which way it read: were those the hours across the top of the sheet or down the side? There were several classes listed here that I had never attended over the course of the year.

I turned to SPC (now SL) and asked whether she’d ever been to something called “Project Management”. She replied that she had, and she advised me to get along to the class and find out about the course work before it was too late. If I failed this module, I would surely be forced to leave the University of Birmingham without a qualification.

I stuffed the timetable back into my bag and set off for the Muirhead Tower. Here I hoped to find a friendly tutor. The building had a changed somewhat since the 1980s, and I was sorry to see that the paternoster lifts had gone. When I reached the third floor I checked the staff lists to see which of the tutors knew me well enough to sympathise with my plight. None of the names were recognisable. I was on my own now, and would almost certainly fail my degree.

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A relationship break-up and a reunion (Rousse)

My husband and I separated. He got to keep the flat and I moved in with a woman who had also just suffered a similar relationship break-up.

I survived just one night without TPR. I missed him so much, just as he missed me. Although it would cost a fortune to get me out of the leasing agreement on my new place, I was definitely coming home.

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The bicycle rack thief (Rousse)

Petty theft in the Scottish highlands was at an all-time high. We came out of our bed and breakfast one sunny morning to discover that someone had stolen the bike rack from the roof of our car. Strangely the yellow tandem was left intact.

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