We headed up the M6, keen to reach our destination in time to take part in the 10k race, my final exams, and the graduation ceremony.
We were grateful not to be travelling in the opposite direction. A light aircraft had come down onto the main southward-bound carriageway of the motorway, and a nine-mile tailback of vehicles was now waiting for the emergency services to come and clear the crash. I felt really sorry for the wedding party in the queue. The bride and her father looked terribly glum, marooned in their vintage Rolls Royce, stationary in the middle lane.
It was late when we reached Edinburgh and I couldn’t be certain that I would be able to get into my locked office to fetch my trainers for the race. I’d have to track down a security guard later. In the meantime comedian Andrew Lawrence begged for my attention. Did he have a cold? Were his glands swollen? Could I make him better? I had no idea how to diagnose and treat his condition so brought in a medical expert: my father the vet.
Soon the others started to arrive for the exam and it was only when I struck up a conversation with fellow Birmingham University graduate NF that I realised that I had done no revision whatsoever. However, I did have the advantage of having written the course textbook, so perhaps I would survive the paper? I decided not to worry and instead joined the crowd gathered for a special open air performance by the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre, sponsored by the university as part of the graduation day celebrations.
It was only then that I remembered that we would be required in the hall, in our gowns, in 5 minutes. Everyone else was all kitted out in their black robes, yet I was gownless. I dragged myself away from the puppet show and rushed about looking for help. I eventually found a friendly member of admin staff sitting on a platform, munching her way through a sandwich. She kindly put down her lunch and attended to me. “Oh, we’re so glad we’ve found you” she said. “We have your special gown all ready for you here. You’ll need to look your best because you’ll be the first on stage today”.
Her assistant lifted the silver silk over my shoulders. What an amazing costume. Embroidered stars and astronomical figures shimmered in its folds. Fully robed, I felt like the ruler of the universe.
For more Dreamaticus stories featuring celebrities, please look no further than our Celebrities page. The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre make regular appearances here, as do many of Andrew Lawrence’s comedy peers.
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