My father organised a big birthday party for me in a social club. TPR and I would be a little late joining our guests, but we knew that JM (who was bound to come on time) could look after those who arrived early.

When we eventually emerged, I noticed the social awkwardness of my work colleagues, especially those who were more junior and unaware of the free bar. As I encouraged them to choose whichever drinks they desired, I was appalled to see that the two female bar staff were smoking.

I challenged the smokers. The elder of the pair claimed that their behaviour was excusable on the grounds that the other – her daughter – was a naval engineer.