Cult TV, a pirate ship and Gothic furniture (Belle)

Posted on January 23, 2018 by Dreamaticus

I was on the set of “the greatest kids’ TV programme ever made” (my own words). The presenters included the entire cast of Rosanne and a famous American newscaster of the 1970s, whose name I couldn’t remember. There were dance routines and a lots of driving around in a transit van.

Then I jumped off the rigging of a pirate ship into a lagoon and met a famous basketball player selling t-shirts in a church hall.

Later I helped sell a colleague’s ‘Gothic double bed’ and re-catalogued her book collection.

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A box of sayings from Switzerland (Rousse)

Posted on January 23, 2018 by Dreamaticus

When SL first held the open the small box I thought that she was offering me a cigarette. On closer inspection I saw that it contained long slim strips of card. On each there was a different uplifting saying or motto.

The box, SL explained through her tears, was a present from IB.

As the three of us walked down the drive with our arms wrapped around one another in an act of mutual love and support, IB explained that she had purchased the box in Switzerland.

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A thick-ankled waitress (Rousse)

Posted on January 23, 2018 by Dreamaticus

I admired ET as she served everyone in the dining room single-handed. This was a feat in itself, but she did it with so much grace, without a hint that she would consider this demeaning work for someone of her academic standing.

I was, however, intrigued at the thickness of her ankles.

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Vintage queen turns her hand to home décor (Rousse)

Posted on January 23, 2018 by Dreamaticus

I had always admired MH’s sense of style. Her vintage wardrobe was especially interesting. However, now my attentions turned to her taste in home décor.

I loved the bold blue wallpaper in the matching toilet cubicles, and the scenes of Loch Ness hand-painted in gloss directly onto the hall walls were divine.

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Orange tent dress adjustments (Rousse)

Posted on January 23, 2018 by Dreamaticus

I was with MSB in her studio on a Sunday morning when one of her clients turned up with an urgent request. The vile orange nylon tent dress that she was wearing needed to be rehemmed. Please could MSB do it now?

I was intrigued as to whether or not MSB would accept this commission. If it were me, I would not do anything to encourage the further wearing of such a horrendous outfit.

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Husband confesses affairs, then leaves (Rousse)

Posted on January 22, 2018 by Dreamaticus

There was very little room in our crammed dormitory. My own bed was second from the window, next to that of JM. JG and NF were at the other end of the room, by the door. Between us were four or five strangers, unknown to us before our arrival in Nantes.

I lost my printed timetable so it was useful to have JF and NF there to keep me on track for turning up to classes. However, I had lost interest somewhat since TPR had confessed to a string of affairs. He announced that now that Christmas with our families was out of the way, the time had come for him to leave me.

I was devastated. Whatever would his mother think? I kept his departure secret for weeks until I finally confided in JG and NF, both of whom were astonished at the news. (I wanted to tell JM, but he was too busy with his own complex love life.)

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Dark secret danger (Rousse)

Posted on January 20, 2018 by Dreamaticus

All the other girls were clustered around HD-B as she revealed her darkest secrets. They were deliberately excluding me from the conversation.

I knew that I was in danger when I saw that the T twins had noticed me at the sidelines. I decided to leave – with haste.

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How to dispose of a dead horse (Rousse)

Posted on January 20, 2018 by Dreamaticus

Life on the streets was fine until the day that TPR and I accidentally killed a horse.

How would we dispose of the body without drawing attention to our crime?

The obvious answer was to burn it at a remote location, but how would we transport it there?

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Barack Obama’s winning smile and a bottle of whisky (Rousse)

Posted on January 19, 2018 by Dreamaticus

Barack Obama could not wait any longer for the couple who were late to reach Ullapool. He therefore asked me – with a winning smile – whether I would take the bottle of whisky.

I was unsure as to whether or not to accept. Would we have room for it in our tent?

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A delicious recipe for roast pumpkin soup in shells (Rousse)

Posted on January 18, 2018 by Dreamaticus

Now I understood why the soup at lunchtime tasted so good: the school office staff had taken to spending their mornings making fresh batches on campus.

Today the office fridges were crammed with pumpkins to be roasted with garlic and red peppers in the small office oven. I suggested that the pumpkin shells be saved for use as serving bowls.

Meanwhile outside on the machair work had started on a new building for the Research and Innovation Office. I guessed that JK would choose the room at the front so that she could enjoy the view west across the sea, and the magnificent Hebridean sunsets.

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